SLIGHTLY fat boys are the shit.

beCAUSE, they feel like they are ugly (even though they aren't) and nobody will fuck them even if they're REALLY GOOD LOOKING, and so you hook up with them and i HATE WORDS like "bear" "cub" "otter," etc but these dudes are plenty PLENTY FINE and nobody will give them the time of day because gay guys are EVIL INCARNATE. SO you can pick these dudes up and they are INTO IT, they fuck like CHAMPIONS AMONG CHAMPIONS. they are PRESENT and ENTHUSIASTIC AND i'm not looking for gratitude, but it's THERE. A friend of mine once said "gay guys are cats, but nobody wants to fuck a cat. you want to fuck DOGS." BECAUSE of their enthusiasm. so yeah, so true. i've always been TOP-ISH, but flexible, but i am SO getting back in touch with my top side.

sorry if this was too much information, world :)

you gotta try a little harder/you're the comeback kid

and on the subject of 'comeback kids' here's another song that i 'didn't write.' it is also called comeback kid. it is by the amazing silversun pickups and from their powerful ep 'pikul.

'


With all the fire set in our eyes
without a cornerstone to realize
that later on we'll build the pyre
and burn so easily well everyone but me

and soon we'll sing in better moods
a sigularity well everyone but you
they'll pull the nerves out through the pores
though bruised so easily the comeback kid's not
bleeding

with words that defied all our social gestures
no one could've known what the comeback kid did
no words could describe all the social pressures
that leads to the time when the comeback kid wins
and wins

and now we sing in better moods
together whispering well everyone but you
and later on we built that pyre
and burned so easily well everyone but me

with words that defied all our social gestures
no one could've known what the comeback kid did
no words could define all the social pressures
that leads to the time when the comeback kid wins..

IMPERIAL TEEN is definitely the SHIT

I want to fuck Will Schwartz from Imperial Teen (who, oddly enough, looks about five minutes older than my ex-boyfriend lu, who was hot as fuck but apparently evil, if you have followed my blithering blog for any amount of time) and Hey Will Power so fucking bad it hurts my balls. Seeing them LIVE (with patty schemel from hole filling in for their preggers drummer who has a name that i don't know) was so rad [with plagiarists OKGO who had "I (HEART) SA" shirts for sale- my initials are SA, but whatever, i'm one wrong move away from requiring food boxes from catholic social services but who needs money when you have the most CURSORY OF ACKNOWLEDGEMENT]. actually, i am not remembering that right, those were separate shows, but at the big fish pub in tempe (RIP, like any music venue in tempe worth a shit). BESIDES THE POINT!

UPDATE/CORRECTION: ACTUALLY, the band i was thinking of that are plagiarists (i mean, 99.98% of modern musicians DO NOT write their own songs, at least the words, and probably the music) that had the i (heart) SA was the band Say Anything, who were playing the big fish pub in support of "their" album "...is a real boy" as in S.ay A.nything "...is a real boy." "their" concept being a loose narrative about a boy who had an affliction that rendered him incapable of telling lies, even white ones. my favorite track, the one i would be proudest of if i had written it, is below, and is called "admit it!"

Tom Petty is Kind of the Shit

it has been said before that solely based upon the genius of the video for don't come around here no more TP&theHB deserve mad, MAD props, and i am certainly NOT going to disagree, but i would like to go off on the awesomeness of both some of his wildly successful mainstream hits and videos as well as some lesser known works that for WHATEVER REASON never made it into heavy rotation. I don't know how familiar you guys are with patrick bateman... i'll try not to be too creepy clinical.

this is sort of my first non-misery oriented post in quite a while, so please- be kind. i don't feel quite "back" yet, but i am TRYING, and i feel like i'm getting closer. Tom Petty has been a big part of that, in the musical component of catharsis sense, for whatever reason.

[ALSO- sidebar- i hope you guys enjoy the new header pic. i look like holy hell, i just woke up and clearly didn't even try to look pretty, but THAT FUCKING SCARY ASS MONKEYSHINES MONKEY is apparently something that Robert bought for me a few months before he died. If that doesn't indicate how mind-melded and close we were, NOTHING WILL. it is an example of a profound understanding of who i am, NOT AN EASY FEAT, LET ME TELL YOU (you know, because i'm so deep and complicated, lol) and the only other time in my life i've seen such a perfect gift was (this is arrogant, but TRUE) when i got rob the carol channing ventriloquist doll. OH, HOW I WISH HE COULD HAVE GOTTEN TO SEE MY REACTION TO RECEIVING IT! his partner michael did, though, and that was a joy and a blessing (oh, sick, i just used the word 'blessing'- please kill me). i love you, Robert! I miss you!]

In no particular order, apart from ballads vs. non-ballads/'rockers' (with videos when possible, which should be all of them in this day and age, and given the wealth of Petty concert footage, which is, you know, supposed to be one of the great musical experiences one can have. i've seen bob dylan live, and i realize he's like four thousand years old and everything, and that his voice was never a vocalist voice, and i realize that at one point seeing him perform was like seeing god and by the time my ass got around to it, it would be kind to say that he is a BIT past his prime by any reasonable standard, but WOW being a transcendentally great writer and a sonic pioneer does NOT make you a valid stage presence, and this is turning into an off-topic rant so moving right along):

Rebels:

ok, before i even get into the song, please make note of the backup wenches at :48 - :52, because they are of A PRICE ABOVE RUBIES, MOTHERFUCKERS!

sadly, i must begin with a concession: calling yourself a rebel is lame, at least at this point in time. possibly it's always been lame. if anything, Fonzie from Happy Days butt-raped the cool out of being a self-proclaimed rebel. Real rebels just go about being ahead of their time or outside of society (alá Patti Smith) like the rock and roll niggers that they are. and yet, YET, this song holds the hell up. This unforgivable "i'm a rebel" sin is bypassed, the proverbial two-hundred dollars are collected.

Excusing THAT: Tom Petty, especially in his youth was, to quote my once-clever and brutally articulate mother, "uglier than a bucket of assholes," although, as with many ugly people, they make ever more dashing, distinguished elderly people. Paradox. anyway, off topic again. So he was an ugly, weird, bug-looking motherfucker. AND YET, there is no DENYING the presence. Check the quick little facial expressions at the beginning, the movement (he looks like he's fucking the back of his guitar, but it doesn't seem to be an intentional, Jagger-esque effort as self-sexualizing), the swagger, the ROCKSTARNESS, but without the APATHY or the MOCK-INDIFFERENCE- he is being COOL AS FUCK while being OPENLY HAPPY AND EXCITED TO BE THERE (i wish gay guys at bars could master this trick- you CAN be awesome and sexy and still be really happy and nice and friendly at the same time, it CAN be done).

Next, lyrical validity. The simplicity is deceptive: on the page, not hearing the song, the words are pretty good, but not apparently brilliant. what many people don't realize or take the time to think about (although, dear reader, i am sure that you are not that way, because if you're reading this you are of better stock, am i right? of course i am) is that writing a song, enunciation and delivery must be considered. simple pentameter is not enough- that's why there aren't musicals in Shakespearean verse, at least none that i know of, and if there were one, a good one, i'm sure it would be somewhat well known. Petty is an absolute master of this: his inflection elevates his lyrics ALWAYS, which is not to say he is not lyrically brilliant. He stylistically tends toward non-abstract narrative, character stuff, storytelling. sort of a seventies southern styled corridos kind of thing... i mean, he isn't the only person who does it, but he uses broader strokes than, say, Bruce Springsteen or John Mellencamp, who are more geared towards 'and then this happened, and then this happened, and then this happened to these same people' kind of narration.

check out the lyrics in their entirety here and just click the x on the popup offering to send the ringtone to your phone and you're good.

My personal lyrical highlight from the song:

She picked me up in the morning/and she paid all my tickets
Then she screamed in the car/Left me out in the thicket

Well, i never would of dreamed/that her heart
was so wicked
Yeah, but i keep/coming back
'Cause it's so hard
to kick it

HEY! HEY! HEY!

and then the exTREMELY sing-along-able chorus kicks back in.

oh, it fucking kills me, it's like bukowski is the character in the song- there's the jail reference, the fucked up woman who rages out, the addictive allusions... and let us not overlook the simplicity on the page versus the way that they turn into perfectly fitted Tetris pieces when he SINGS THE WORDS. Rapture.

Final point: this is a southern pride song. How the FUCK do you do that without being yucky or "i'm on the mountain with mama and paw drinking moonshine and i love trucks and yay trailer park realness" alá modern country, (ugh) kid rock, or even other southern-ish rock music like (UGH) Lynard Skynnard? he even makes mention of those "blue bellied devils," and not that i feel that i have to break this down for you, that's an allusion to hating the north during the civil war. BUT HE DOES IT, and- at least to me- it's not offensive. you never get the "he hates black people" vibe, you never even get a "he hates everybody above the mason-dixon line" vibe, even though he basically SAYS IT in the song. He's in character to a certain extent, though the performance doesn't read that way.

Tom Petty is exempt from many well-established guidelines for being awesome. he can call himself a rebel (even call the FUCKING SONG "REBELS"), he can do legitimate southern pride and talk shit about the north without seeming racist or even offensive while being simultaneously sincere and himself AND in character. He's a fucking wizard... not a grand imperial wizard of the ku klux klan, though, just to be clear :)

ok, this is a long post... i'm sure i'm writing this primarily for myself- i doubt many of you have any interest in tom petty, so this might be a series.

it's been cool, though! to write again, to put something on here that wasn't about grief or loss or whatever.

i think next up will be either yer so bad or swingin' or possibly room at the top, if you guys are familiar with any of those. oh! maybe i'll do insider, one of the songs that he wrote for stevie nicks but ended up keeping for himself, lol- this happened several times!

stevie nicks has said that she wanted to quit fleetwood mac after rumours and JOIN TOM PETTY AND THE HEARTBREAKERS. WOW, that would have been a very different musical universe, huh?

anybody who's still reading my shit, thanks for sticking it out, i know i've been difficult.