Resistance Is Futile, But Perfectly Understandable

My mother the Borg Queen is coming to visit my Grandpa, who is staying at my aunt's house. i am also staying there, so i can take care of him during my aunt's work week. This will mark the second time that i have seen her since 1996, the first being at my grandma's funeral four or five years ago(to which my mother wore a GOLD LAMÉ dress with a metric ton of BIG jewelry/makeup to and convinced the pastor to tell stories about my grandma that prominently featured HER, like some sort of 'bereaved daughter' version of the merry widow- tacky mail order czarina edition). Needless to say, there is a very good reason that i'm an imbalanced faggot. this should be superfun.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Dave's Pawn Shop 1

Dave's Pawn Shop 2

Dave's Pawn Shop 3

They posted this thing on the Flight of the Conchords HBO page saying that they won't be coming back for a third season, "but the real Bret and Jermaine will continue to exist."

NOT THE SAME!


but at least there's DIAGNOSIS: DEATH!

it's like our paris.

Trilogy of Terror

1.)AWESOME.
2.)Absolutely
3.)Kicking it old School with MLP, yo.

what part of this is unclear?

i know i have a boyfriend and everything, but i still like to frequent okcupid just to see what kind of flotsam i'm attracting... you know, charting trends, analyzing data, it's purely scientific.

MY profile reads (at one point) when i am administering the standard disclaimer about being post-pubescent:

"i wouldn't describe myself as a yeti or anything (or liken myself to animals in general, ie bear, pup, cub, etc... so strange... what's that even about?)."

because the BEAR COMMUNITY IS FUCKING CREEPY TO ME. i'm not trying to be mean, but it just seems like a really ridiculous set of values to unite a group- an arbitrary genetic trait like a tendency toward being fat and/or hairy? that is fucking dumb. this is the UNITED STATES, throw a goddamn phonebook, and you'll hit at least ten fat hairy men, with at least one of them statistically likely to be gay.

anyway, i think that my statement about not self-identifying in bear community lingo (because it's RETARDED) is pretty clear. so when i looked at the profile of this australian dude (username Teddybeard- red flag number one) that messaged me i was at a bit of a loss. the first sentence in his profile is as follows:

"I am a young guy heavily involved in the Bear and Cub scene, my vocation is in Radio Broadcasting and I'm currently at university."

0_0

i hope this doesn't come off as hateful or anything, i just don't GET it. John Waters has some insight on this.


ON SECOND THOUGHT - UPDATE (5/23/09):

You know what, though? I'm pretty much sexually retarded, so i concede the possibility that my discomfort is my own problem. Also, i think it's pretty cool when people are comfortable in their own skin. I myself am NOT that comfortable in my own skin, and i never have been, so who knows? maybe i'm JEALOUS?! MAYBE I HAVE BEAR ENVY?!

RASPOURRI!!!

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Carol Channing!

1. Julius Caesar wore a laurel wreath to cover up Carol Channing!
2. Carol Channing can be found on a Cluedo board between the Library and the Conservatory.
3. Michelangelo finished his great statue of Carol Channing in 1504, after eighteen months work!
4. Only fifty-five percent of men wash their hands after using Carol Channing.
5. More than one million stray dogs and half a million stray cats live in Carol Channing.
6. The book of Esther in the Bible is the only book which does not mention Carol Channing!
7. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find Carol Channing.
8. In Eastern Africa you can buy beer brewed from Carol Channing.
9. If Carol Channing was life size, she would stand 7 ft 2 inches tall and have a neck twice the size of a human!
10. The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knights in armour raised their visors to reveal Carol Channing.

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem