this is awesome.

nobody EVER comments on anything i write about courtney love or hole, but even if you DON'T like her, this animated short is pretty wonderful and smart and funny. it's only six minutes, you'll enjoy yourself i think. press play.

Riberace!

So the Liberace Museum in Las Vegas is closing on October 17th, and since i won't be able to go, i forced Rob to go on my behalf. He complied, as indicated by the image above. More pictures to follow!

I'm SAD that the Liberace Museum is closing it's doors... it seems like one of those places that SHOULD exist, whether you enjoy Mr. Showmanship or not. And COME ON, this is like GAY GROUND ZERO (along with Stonewall). We're talking about the QUEEN OF ALL QUEENS! It just seems wrong.

there IS a silver, gem bedazzled lining, though- They're taking the show on the road! I've been telling myself that this might be better in a way, because this way ALL the gays of the US will have a fighting chance to see all this shit, rather than just the tacky ones who actually go to vegas (*coughROBcough*).

Corey Feldman Lacks Self-Awareness

BUT i will say that he was in Stand By Me, AND Gremlins AND The Lost Boys AND Goonies, so he's golden until the day he dies. Also, at least it's obvious he writes his own songs, which is more than you can say for a lot of A-list stars that get writing credits (talking to you, Beyoncé).

Julianne Moore Cries Over Everything

Everything in the literal, not-at-all-hyperbolic sense. BEHOLD: over three minutes of Julianne Moore crying.

Naked Lunch

This is one of those rare examples where the movie just breakdances in circles around the book. i'm sure a lot of people would disagree with me if they heard me say that, or saw me write it, but suck it. and take that berét off, you look ridiculous.

*Naked Lunch as a book is challenging to the point of absurdity. It's sort of like Burroughs' heroin addled spin on Finnegan's Wake-style convolution. i am personally convinced that ninety-nine out of every one-hundred people who claim to have read and enjoyed it either never read it at all or are lying. maybe one in a hundred people that says they read it even sort of understands it, let alone ADORES it the way people claim to. my best friend rob would put it on the pretentious book rack at the book store where he works. Still, i don't think it's ever been out of print- people LOVE to own books that are controversial, drug related and (to most) unreadable. See: bookshelves of people who were fifteen or so in 1996 that own suspiciously pristine copies of Irvine Welsh's 'Trainspotting.'

the MOVIE, however, is one of my top three favorites ever, i think. It's playing tomorrow night at the Loft Cinema in Tucson. i'm GOING. Me and my first boyfriend were very big into it, it was kind of bizarro romantic. the first thing he ever gave me was a little plastic toy mugwump. he'd make his own postcards that he'd send me and on them would be these little sketches of Naked Lunch creatures in between his insanely small taiwanese handwriting. ANYways, yeah. Such a great preview, too. and the colors and everything he uses are just amazing. i would LOVE to see Cronenberg go back to this kind of project. he's such a master. he needs to work with judy davis again, too!

*i LOVE Burroughs, but i don't like abstraction upon abstraction upon abstraction. maybe i'm just not smart enough or something, i don't know. if you have to have a debilitating drug problem to understand something, MAYBE IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE AS MUCH SENSE AS YOU THINK IT DOES.

"I'll Tear Out Your Endocrine System... If You Don't Drink VITAMIN WATER!"

I so want my own Gary Busey that i can train to behave erratically for my own personal amusement.

Exit the Zsa Zsa

Goodnight you fierce ass cop slapping bitch, you.

Baby Speaks in Tongues w/Subtitles

Some fundamentalist Carnival decided to let an eighteen month old burble and growl into a microphone for two minutes, and rather than be like "oh, it's cute, he makes sounds," they decided to interpret it as the baby speaking in a secret God language, ie SPEAKING IN TONGUES. Anyway, some GENIUS put subtitles on what the baby says, and it is DISTURBING how much the subtitles match up with the babysounds. Don't watch this at work, because you'll get fired for laughing and watching the interwebs.

Life During Wartime

I love Todd Solondz, and this looks amazing, if much lighter than his previous films. I love Ally Sheedy. I love the whole cast, actually. Cannot wait.

The Perfect Man: "Of course I have... for fuck's sake" Edition

Tom Hardy is the Even More Perfect Man.

from WWTDD.COM:

Tom Hardy is one of the best actors alive, and he finally started getting the credit he deserves last year (Best Actor) for ‘Bronson’. Now ‘Inception’ is making him even more famous. He’ll be the lead in the new Mad Max movies and there’s even a rumor he’ll replace Daniel Craig as James Bond because MGM is $3.7 billion in debt, might have had to cancel Craigs contract, and now will have to start all over.

Back in 2005, before deciding on Craig, Hugh Jackman was one of the final choices to play Bond but lost out because producers thought he seemed a little gay. That could be a bad sign for Tom Hardy.

When asked if he had ever had sex with men, Tom replied:
“Of course I have. I’m an actor for f*ck’s sake. I’ve played with everything and everyone. I love the form and the physicality, but now that I’m in my thirties, it doesn’t do it for me. I’m done experimenting but there’s plenty of stuff in a relationship with another man, especially gay men, that I need in my life. A lot of gay men get my thing for shoes. I have definite feminine qualities and a lot of gay men are incredibly masculine. A lot of people say I seem masculine, but I don’t feel it. I feel intrinsically feminine. I’d love to be one of the boys but I always felt a bit on the outside. Maybe my masculine qualities come from overcompensating because I’m not one of the boys.”

There's just something about a faggot (effeminate, tom of finland butch, or anywhere in between) that WILL beat you the fuck up if you start shit that does it for me. It's not about masculine, it's about not taking shit. It's about saying "ok, fine. it's a straight world, you get to pick the rules, but what you don't realize is that you've underestimated what i'm capable of because you think i can only be X, Y and Z because i intentionally come into contact with cock during a relatively small percentage of my lifespan. Enjoy the ICU."

I believe in being able to fight. I've been in a lot of fights myself, and i'm happy to report that i do very well. It's so fucking frustrating to me when gay guys condemn ANY kind of violence regardless of the circumstance and instead opt to sell each other this PC ideal bullshit about the 'right way' to change things. That's an intellectual solution to a physical problem. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that homosexuals in the country are constantly told that gay equals getting the shit beaten out of you over and over and over, and have been told this for GENERATIONS. This gets absorbed into the way we percieve ourselves, and it becomes unofficial offical gay policy to be terrified of fighting no matter what. We assign that fear a lofty, ivory tower logic that we can all not be ashamed of, and when we get curbstomped to death or left on the ground internally bleeding, the rest of us very loudly ABHOR THE VIOLENCE of it all, and YES the violence is horrific and tragic, but how about NOT selling the idea that violence is NEVER THE ANSWER to a population that gets violently targeted? how about NOT selling and/or buying into the idea that if you like dick, you're nothing but a lisping bullseye mincing around trying to run away from fights that you have a good chance of winning? That Pacifistic-no-matter-what SHIT gets HEARD, not JUST by the 12 year old gay tweens who are already scared enough as it is, but by the people that would beat him bloody. It convinces the young that they're going to be VICTIMS, and have no chance of WINNING if shit were to ever go down, and at the same time, it both reinforces (and alerts bashers to) the idea that faggots don't fight back.

ANYWAY, Tom Hardy isn't saying he's gay, and he played a hardass in a movie and that doesn't necessarily translate into real life, BUT i think that there must be a lot of gay guys like myself in this world, who are fucking DYING to see just ONE faggot in the mainstream media playing these roles where he's a badass motherfucker. If Hugh Jackman had come out, that would be a good example since he plays Wolverine. Tom Hardy playing Charlie Bronson and then acting like it ain't no thing to be the effeminate man in a gay relationship is close enough for me, though- actually, it's EVEN BETTER, because Wolverine is kind of camp, and is not only a fictional character, but a COMIC BOOK character, while Charlie Bronson is REAL, and he is notoriously brutal.

Keep in mind, Hardy is only BEGINNING to come into the consciousness of Americans for his relatively small role in Inception, so this is dangerous shit for him to be doing, professionally- or so all the closet cases would have you believe. It will be interesting to see how his career does (or does not) in the near future. He's already proven he can play straight roles, so if he basically disappears that would indicate that the idea that American homophobia is so pronounced that it translates to bad box office is a legitimate fear, and that you really CAN'T get leading man work if you talk about your recreational love affair with the cock. If he totally kills it, and becomes the first mainstream action star to make these kind of concessions regarding his sexual nature, then that's a big fucking deal, and could really change things. Can't wait to find out, but either way, thanks for the honesty, Tom Hardy. I hope that your candor and nonchalance in the matter proves to be the gamechanger that we've been waiting for, and that you are rewarded for your big fucking balls, but either way: You are a badass motherfucker.

Macheté Red Band Trailer

Robert Rodriguez is the perfect man. He makes movies like the El Mariachi trilogy, Sin City, Planet Terror, and Macheté, he can cook (he hosts "10 minute cooking school" sessions on his special edition dvd releases, and he signs off with one of the greatest cooking quotes ever: "This is Robert Rodriguez, telling you to learn how to cook, because not knowing how to cook is like not knowing how to fuck."), he's a badass rebel (He quit the Director's Guild of America and produces his own films, which is sort of unheard of and was at the time considered professionally self-destructive) and he's TALL and pretty fucking sexy in my opinion. I admit, i did cringe when he forced the word "loco" into his RBT intro, but i think that doing a scene where Danny Tréjo rapells out a window using somebody's intestines cancels out the awkward with room to spare.

Show Me Your Genitals

thought this was pretty funny. Jon Lajoie plays Taco on 'The League.' He's funny as fuck, and he's hilarious on the league. the show's about a fantasy football league, and that sounds like a shit premise for a comedy show, but it's incredibly funny. it's on FX. the first season was only 6 episodes, but it got picked up for a second season and it comes back on september 16th. i can't wait. His character on the show is sort of a um... sexual creature. at one point he thinks that he's lost his mojo because he fails to have sex for ten days or something and he travels to exotic, magical Chinatown to obtain Three Penis Wine to restore his virility.



oh my god, it's so funny. i die.

I Have Turned Inward

i don't think i'm going to be blogging very much for a while. i don't have anything pressing before school starts or anything, i just don't have anything blog post sized to say.

i tweet a little bit, though, if you feel like checking up.

go HERE to do that.

i should hopefully recover from my summertime shut-in weirdness after school starts in late august.

'David Fincher's Facebook Movie' or 'How to Squander Good Will and Talent'

Behold, the preview for 'The Social Network.' This SHIT could not possibly be less interesting. How the fuck do you go from making movies like Se7en, The Game, Fight Club, Zodiac, and EVEN the Curious Case of Benjamin Button to a movie about FACEBOOK?!? Somebody needs to take David Fincher aside and forcefeed him crystal meth and peyote until he gets an original idea. I mean, Benjamin Button was bad enough, but A FACEBOOK MOVIE? are you fucking JOKING?

From Blood and Chocolate

On the list of people i wouldn't want to be mad at me is Elvis Costello. 'I Hope You're Happy Now' is the kind of scathing that would hurt in a brand new way every time you heard it, were you the subject. It's so funny and insightful... it must suck to hear a song like that and know that all your failures as a person are knowingly on display in the prototypically perfect post-modern pop song (the alliteration was happenstance, i swear), that somebody so completely has your number. This kind of eloquent characterization is NOT EASY to do in three minutes. I suggest looking up the lyrics.

My New Hero Is Keith Wagner: High School Journalist

From the Phoenix New Times:

By Stephen Lemons, Monday, Jun. 14 2010 @ 8:22AM



Huppenthal spanked hard by a student journalist. Is this sweet or what?

No one's ever accused Republican state Senator John Huppenthal of being the brightest bulb in the state GOP's closet. You might think Huppenthal's lowest moment came when he scuffled with a 78 year-old Democratic activist on election day 2008 over a yard sign. He was ultimately found not guilty of sign tampering and theft, but he ended up looking like a sneaky, aggro dolt nonetheless.

In fact, the hapless Huppenthal actually stated in court that he was afraid the senior citizen lady was going to carjack him.

But local student journalist Keith Wagner of Tempe's Corona del Sol High School has done Huppenthal's septuagenarian combatant one better by interviewing Huppenthal and politely, quietly skewering him, confronting the smarmy state Senator with his vote to gut funding to the state's Career and Technical Education programs. This, after Huppenthal bemoans such cuts.

The long form of Wagner's report, which gives more context to the interview:



The result is freaking hilarious, with Huppenthal so flummoxed that he has to get up and walk away. Keep in mind, Huppenthal is currently campaigning for the GOP nod for Arizona schools superintendent.

Ironically, that position has a rich tradition of being held by class-A boobs such as Tom Horne, so it should surprise no one if Huppenthal eventually wins the gig.

Huppenthal's also a toady of state Senator Russell Pearce, and has spat bogus stats in the past regarding the state's undocumented population. When challenged, he was unable to supply the source of his false factoid. Classic.

Wagner's video is getting heavy play locally by liberals on Facebook and other sites, and deservedly so. If more journalists were to follow Wagner's lead, maybe there'd be fewer clowns like Huppenthal in office.

Okay, that's wishful thinking. This is Arizona after all, the Land Time Forgot for a Reason. But still, it's worth a shot...


...................................................


I used to live about 2 blocks down the street from that school. Fucking FIERCE.

I think they should make this Keith Wagner kid AZ Schools Superintendent. They should make Huppenthal give up his Senate seat to him, too. that would be rad. This kid just wrote his own fucking ticket in a field that is hemorrhaging jobs.

EAT HIT MATE VOMIT

in that order, if at all possible.

isn't EAT HIT MATE VOMIT the name of that new Julia Roberts movie coming out this summer?

The Golden Girls in "Clueless"

Sans Bea Arthur, who was kind of a wet blanket when you think about it- she quit Golden Girls, and then she wouldn't take part in this skit, either. You're not supposed to quit the hit, Bea! Remember that for your next incarnation, yeah?

Happy Eleventh ROBSETHVERSARY!

Above: Rob at the Ratt/Edgar Winter Group/Starship/38 Special Fairground Spectacular on 05/23/2010, at which we got matching sunburns.

I was supposed to do this on june 4th, not june 6th, but i didn't forget, i just didn't do the blog post.

I met my best friend rob 11 years and two days ago, and we've been pals ever since. Have things gotten stale? Have we grown apart?

NO! You want proof? i can give you some anecdotal proof right now.

The other day, june 3rd, when Rue McLanahan died, some of you may recall that i talked about Betty White being a Highlander. I also tweeted about it. That afternoon at about 2:30, i get a text message from Rob. Talking about how Betty White is a Highlander, and that there can be only one. Later that night i called to say hey, and i asked him if he'd read my blog or tweets about Rue and Betty, and that i'd written about the very same thing, almost word for word. I was sure he must have, but sure enough, NOPE! he came up with the thought by his own self.

Pretty fucking cool.

The Secret of Kells

I am totally going to go see this today after i apply for the janitor job at the loft.