So this is my second semester where i've taken ONLY maths, sciences or statistics, and let me tell YOU, all left brain work and no right brain play makes Sethy a DULL BOY.
anyway, i'm taking a 2 credit writing class this weekend just for fun and superfast credit. i thought it was just called "Creative Writing" but i got this thing in the mail the other day that called it "Creative Writing Workshop: How to be an Original Writer," and that sounds a little bit lamer, i have to admit. i have very vivid ideas about the lame-o's who are going to be in the seminar with me. i visualize berets, art fair earrings, ornate and complex facial hair and lots of not very subtle proclamations about how "in the writing group that i belong to..."
I also suspect that the people in that class who AREN'T 'like that' are going to be the dregs of the academic barrell, who are only in there because the class was still open for registration and to keep up their minimum number of credits for the semester.
i could be totally wrong, of course. i've never taken a writing class that wasn't required before. i mean, I love writing, i know some cool writers, but mostly in my experience i've found that self-identified writers are cringe inducing and mega lame and either SUPER untalented and/or complete posers.
maybe i'm just predjudiced. maybe i'll find these notions of mine challenged by this experience.
Update:
The highlight of the evening for me was when the instructor said that in the short story writing class that she's teaching this semester, she was forced to ban VAMPIRES as subject matter. While hilarious, i also felt an overwhelming sense of pity for this woman- i can't IMAGINE how awful it would be to read non-stop vampire stories as conceived by 30 or so moderately to UN talented 18 - 20 year olds who either want to be Anne Rice or Stephanie Meyer. oh, the unbearable darkness! VLAH!
moving along...
it was just day one, and we only met for two hours, but so far, i was partially right... people did work their writing groups into their introductions, and there were a couple of people saying insufferable things, BUT:
the vast majority of the group are middle to later aged women. What made me think that maybe i should dial back my judgement a bit was the fact that most of the people there talked about wanting to be able to express something and not knowing how to do so, and they also talked about the fear that they had surrounding that need, as well as the possible consequences. THAT is something that i can respect and have compassion for, so that's what i'm holding onto for dear life. if their writing is awful is beside the point. they have something that they feel like they have to say and they're struggling to say it. that's real, and human and- in my humble- admirable.
having said that, i may feel very differently by sunday afternoon.
as soon as i saw this episode, i knew EXACTLY which picture they used, lol.
I kind of like SJP (Honeymoon In Vegas, LA Story, Ed Wood and also she was really funny tormenting Bette Midler in First Wives Club) but Sex in the City is a straight up slice of DIRTY ASS and i can't believe how many people (gay men and women that DON'T live in New York and probably DON'T live in an urban area at all) LOVED that show, including my boyfriend. he secretly rented "The Ugly Truth" the other day, though, so who knows what darkness lurks in the heart of Germone.
PS:
Like the shark, the Sarah Jessica Parker has millions of teeth, which it uses to cut through bone, candy and fences.
The news came out last week and everybody knew about it i think, but Betty White is hosting SNL on May 8th- the mother's day episode.
They're pulling out all the stops to make this as EPIC as possible.
Tina Fey, Amy Poelher, Rachel Dratch, Maya Rudolph and Molly Shannon (not pictured, but you all know what she looks like) will all be backing up our girl Betty. It should be pretty fucking good. i'm hoping that all the guest stars will have a role in writing the episode's material- not that Seth Myers and Co aren't more than capable, but there are some real comedic luminaries here, and all of them female, and it could be that they'd have a little extra insight when it comes to writing sketches for a woman like BW.
OH! they should TOTALLY get Maya Rudolph's boyfriend Quentin Tarantino to write a sketch! can you IMAGINE?
The video above isn't of the hand transplant that i wanted to talk about, but it is the same institution and doctor (Lee) that was involved.
They just did a new surgery with 23 doctors that took 11 hours for this Army guy who lost BOTH hands in a farming accident. to do it, they had to remove the arm above the right elbow before attaching the donor arm. most amazing, the guy has functionality in his left hand ALREADY, and the surgery was only three weeks ago. it's INSANE.
when the footage i saw becomes available online, i'll update this entry. it's almost up on the abc website HERE, but it's taking forever to load. i'm up in prescott at my "Gay Dads'" house for spring break, and their computer is rickety and slow as hell.
really DIDN'T want to ever have to do this, but i'm going to have to put SLWMAC on comment moderation mode.
I am so sick of writing about this, but this is probably the last time, unless he mails me a pig's heart with a nail through it or something really colorful like that...
Lu the 43 year old ex-boyfriend STILL won't leave me alone. If he bothers you guys on your blogs, just report it to blogger. He's started a blog where his username is my real name, so i guess just watch out for comments from "me." Or you can go to his blog, and look at some 10 year old pictures of me where i'm extra extra fat and/or not wearing an appropriate amount of clothing. He writes these mildly broken english captions 'in character' as me, and reveals what he believes to be SHOCKING REVELATIONS about me.
above: Justin Jorgensen's wall from THE ZONE (click image to enlarge).
Justin Jorgensen did the design for this LA gay sex club called THE ZONE, and he did a series of blog posts about the conceptual and practical processes behind this strange assignment which i found to be pretty interesting/entertaining. One of them detailed how to do a wall with a contour line picture of a guy getting head, and it literally drove me crazy for MONTHS, because it reminded me of something, but i couldn't figure out what.
ANYWAY, today i was talking to someone about collage, and i was suggesting that they check out David Wojnarowicz, and then it hit me! that's what the Jorgensen wall reminded me of! Sweet Relief!
above: Various works by the seminal David Wojnarowicz
The new single for Courtney Love's reconstituted HOLE (Now with 25% of ANY previous HOLE incarnation!) album/opus/eggregiously late homework 'Nobody's Daughter' was offered up as a free download on the ALBUM SITE on the 4th, and it is a grindy little piece of hard black candy (that's a compliment).
It would make a GREAT stripper song, FOR REALS.
BELOW is C-Lo and company doing a real quick version of "Pretty on the Inside" followed by an abbreviated "Sympathy for the Devil," which she pretty much KILLS. As usual, her choice of covers (past covers include Fleetwood Mac's 'Gold Dust Woman,' Guns and Roses' 'Paradise City,' and Bob Dylan's 'It's All Over Now, Baby Blue'- all of which sounded like they were written for her)is arrogant and excellent.
Jason left for Connecticut today, and he was so excited. I haven't met Mark (or is it Marc?) yet, but i'm sure he's a very special person. Just the stuff Jason's mentioned about him indicates that he's a very sweet, very big-hearted guy. who doesn't love THAT?
i fucking MISS HIM ALREADY, though, and i hope he freezes his dick off in the cold!
Jennifer Tilly was on Craig Ferguson relatively recently, and first instinct would be to be like "um, who cares?" BUT holy crap, she's FUNNY! she talks about her boyfriend cheating on her, how nobody loves a brunette, talks shit about Pay-Less shoes, tears craig a new one for giving her a "generic welcome back to the show card," tells a story about how she tries but always FAILS to get discounts on designer clothes, and reveals the secret of "what Craig smells like."
well, i guess that one of the atlanta housewives from that show that i have literally never seen decided to be gay, and ensnared this poor lesbian. Kim Zolciak is the housewife of atlanta and tracy young is a DJ(REALLY?! like, at weddings?). normally i wouldn't give a fuck about anyone from that show at all, but seeing their picture TOTALLY reminded me of Jane Lynch (of Glee!, which i can't stand, but she's always funny) and Jennifer Coolidge (of the Christopher Guest films and American Pie where she was Stiffler's mom and a bunch of other stuff that she typically steals)in one of my ALL TIME FAVORITE movies...
Best in Show!
ANYWAY, if you know what i'm talking about you're probably saying Oh, wow, you're right, seth. If you don't, i'm sorry i've wasted your time.
you should rent the movie, though, it's VERY funny.
*oh, FINE. Oprah has been both a handsome and beautiful woman during various incarnations. Ebert, however, has never exactly been Miss America, has he?
Hey, who wants to hear what an Oprah-empowered Jenny McCarthy has to say about autism?
Ooooh, ME! MEEEEEEE!!!
from wwtdd.com: Jenny McCarthy is back in Time magazine this week to warn more parents about vaccines and blaming medicine for giving her son autism, even though there’s no scientific evidence of any kind to support those statements, and mountains of data proving she is 100 percent wrong. Let’s keep an eye out and see if she can kill her 500th kid. Time writes…
During her appearance on Oprah in 2007, she launched a typical fusillade: “What number does it have to be … for people just to start listening to what the mothers of children who have autism have been saying for years … I told my pediatrician something happened … after [he was vaccinated] ?… Boom — the soul was gone from his eyes.” Later, when Oprah read a comment from the CDC stating that the vast majority of the science to date did not support her assertion, McCarthy replied, “My science is Evan. He’s at home. That’s my science.”
Actually, that’s the exact opposite of science. It’s just something that happened. It would be like if a goat was choking on a gold coin, and then Jenny wrote a book claiming gold coins come from goats. If a dog barks and later it rains, the dog didn’t make it rain by yelling at the cloud. It was coincidence combined with the fact that you don’t really understand what you’re looking at. These doctors must shake their head and think, “I can’t believe I’m arguing with a chick who is only here because she sold pictures of her vagina to a magazine.”
You know, i was so busy with being angry/traumatized by the bullshit with lu last week that i totally forgot to celebrate the 1st anniversary of Still Life With Monkey And Cigarette and to thank some people that have contributed to its success- what i consider to be success, at least.
I started writing it because my friend Jason started a blogger blog, and at the time i lived in a different city than he did, and i thought it would be a good way for us to interact more, and just keep up. Jason let his blog just sit, empty save for one entry until MAY, while i began writing in mine immediately (which he DID read and comment on even though he wasn't writing in his... just to be fair). since then, i've moved to his area, jason moved away, jason moved back, and jason's moving away again on thursday, but the blogs and the highly valued friendship remain.
I have also greatly enjoyed keeping up with my old english teacher from the alternative school trailer that i got my GED prep from some THIRTEEN years ago. She, too, moved away- to portland, with her husband where she's had two beautiful... um, precocious children- but i always used to write her drunken, drugged out emails for years and years and she's so much fun to talk to and she's so clever and just a good, nice, unwaveringly supportive influence in my life. Her blog is pleasant and fun to read, too, but it's a pale shadow of the level of sass she TRULY has (her conservative family reads it, and she has to dumb it down a bit for them)... i guess i shouldn't expound on that any further, but ANYWAY, i love her and she's awesome and that's that.
Lastly, i guess i need to thank David Mason of House of Vader, because HALF of my readers have cross-pollinated from his site, where he has me linked on his blogroll... a privelage i am not sure i understand, but am very grateful for all the same. In the same vein, thanks to Donny from Hip Like Me, for similar blogroll linkage. Your patronage is also unexpected but appreciated :-)
To all of my ghosty readers that i don't know in real life, and follow my blog but never comment, thank you too! Feel free to jump in and say hi or commiserate with me or bitch me out if you disagree with something, or to express enthusiasm for media stuff i put up that you like, or, you know... if you want to interact at all or what have you. you're more than welcome, i appreciate your presence and would welcome participation... no pressure, though.
to my friends in REAL LIFE who VERY RARELY or NEVER comment, thanks for loitering, you worthless bastards! i expected a LITTLE MORE out of you. (just kidding!)
this probably seems a bit self-indulgent for what is essentially just an ALREADY self-indulgent personal blog that (to date) 11 people openly follow (including myself!), but all the same, writing SLWMAC has been fun, therapeutic and surprisingly non-chore-like for the most part. I get to keep up with some of the people in my life that i love, and i have met new people that i like very much and find to be creatively brilliant, wildly entertaining and clever as well as excellent human beings... it's pretty cool, and so THANKS, you guys. I consider my life enriched!
i thought i'd close with one of my heroes, Craig Ferguson and Company, closing the 1000th episode of his hosting run on The Late Late Show. You should download that while it's still up on the torrent sites. Craig Ferguson 1000th episode. it's a GOOD ONE.
Stephen Fry, Old-school british queen, does the late late show with craig ferguson with no audience or anything, like tom snyder used to do. pretty bad ass. it's weird without the live "laugh track" but you watch it, and it actually gets deep. not a lot of clips available of this episode, but you can certainly download it on pirate bay, btjunkie or demonoid if you know what i'm talking about. pretty great interview, and as much as i enjoy stephen fry NOW, i think i'll have an even greater appreciation for him in the future.
FYI, you can next see stephen (if you're an american living in the U.S., that is) doing the voice work as the cheshire cat in Tim Burton's upcoming "Alice in Wonderland" and he's also a frequent guest star on the long-running FOX dark comedy "Bones," on which he plays psychiatrist-turned-gourmet-chef Gordon Gordon. I watch that show (and LOVE IT, especially since i started A&P) and the episodes he's on tend to be season long standouts. He really is a great actor. I've been meaning to see his portrayal of Oscar Wilde in, duh, "Wilde" for years, but am just making a point of doing it tonight. He's an absolute DEAD RINGER for the quintessentially clever "dorian gray" author (second only to dororthy parker for clever cuntyness, in my opinion, though it's a tight race) and in it he does it with a super-young jude law. I'm sure he's very good, as always.
