Thursday, January 28, 2010

Guess Who's Going To Dinner...


with Pulitzer Prize winning author Junot Díaz, author of maybe my favorite book of all time?
could it be...

MEEEEEEEEEEEEE????!!!!

it COULD, akshully!

i am fucking BESIDE MYSELF, i am so excited. Sometimes life is so amazing, and i can't even imagine what i could have done for all the awesome that occasionally blitzkriegs me to be even somewhat warranted.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Gift of the Year? Gift of the Year.





Jason KILLED it with my christmas present this year. KILLED IT. he got me a charlie the unicorn blanket thing (at first i thought it was a charlie the unicorn SNUGGIE, which is the only thing i can imagine that's more awesome), and he was determined enough to brave GOING INTO A HOT TOPIC.

THAT'S a good friend.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Anatomy and Physiology BLACKOUT


um, i'm thinking maybe i shouldn't have enrolled in A&P I and II in concurrent 8 week abbreviated form, because HOLY SHIT I AM DROWNING in course content. i am seriously afraid that i have bitten off more than i can chew here, but unfortunately i have designed my entire semester around the premise that i can pull it off, so i'm sort of stuck. i am NOT joking (at least not very much) when i say that you probably shouldn't expect to see (much of) anything on this blog before spring break in march, and that's at the earliest. friends, family, etc will be as strangers to me, and the world will know me not.

we DO get to look at a cadaver today, though. that's kind of neat.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Friday, January 15, 2010

For All Of You Wyclef Jean Fans Out There:


(he said dryly...)

according to the smoking gun website, Wyclef Jean's Haiti-oriented charity isn't exactly an NPO "per se":

From The Smoking Gun.com

Wyclef Jean Charity's Funny Money
Haiti earthquake aid pours into group that has enriched singer

JANUARY 14--The Haiti earthquake has already triggered hundreds of thousands of donations to musician Wyclef Jean's charitable foundation, which expects to raise upwards of $1 million a day in the disaster's wake. However, Internal Revenue Service records show the group has a lackluster history of accounting for its finances, and that the organization has paid the performer and his business partner at least $410,000 for rent, production services, and Jean's appearance at a benefit concert. Though the Wyclef Jean Foundation, which does business as Yele Haiti Foundation, was incorporated 12 years ago--and has been active since that time--the group only first filed tax returns in August 2009. That month, the foundation provided the IRS with returns covering calendar years 2005, 2006, and 2007--the only periods for which it has publicly provided a glimpse at its financial affairs. In 2006, Jean's charity reported contributions of $1 million, the bulk of which came from People magazine in exchange for the first photos of a pregnant Angelina Jolie (the actress reportedly directed that the publication's payment go to Jean's charity, not her personally). As seen on the following pages from the foundation's 2006 tax return, the group paid $31,200 in rent to Platinum Sound, a Manhattan recording studio owned by Jean and Jerry Duplessis, who, like Jean, is a foundation board member. A $31,200 rent payment was also made in 2007 to Platinum Sound. The rent, tax returns assure, "is priced below market value." The recording studio also was paid $100,000 in 2006 for the "musical performance services of Wyclef Jean at a benefit concert." That six-figure payout, the tax return noted, "was substantially less than market value." The return, of course, does not address why Jean needed to be paid to perform at his own charity's fundraiser. But the largest 2006 payout--a whopping $250,000--went to Telemax, S.A., a for-profit Haiti company in which Jean and Duplessis were said to "own a controlling interest." The money covered "pre-purchased...TV airtime and production services" that were part of the foundation's "outreach efforts" in Haiti. No further description of these services was offered, though the return claimed that "the fees paid are below market" and that the use of Telemax was the "most efficient way of providing these services." The group's tax returns also report "consultant" payments totaling $300,000 between 2005-2007, while the 2006 return reported nearly $225,000 in "promotion and PR" costs. These expenses are not itemized further in the IRS returns.

Leno Bleeds


jimmy kimmel talked mad shit about jay leno (while dressed up as leno) a few nights ago, and leno decides that he should have him on for his 10 questions at 10 segment or whatever the fuck he calls it. jimmy just mad dogs the camera and answers each question with cold contempt, and by the time questions 5 and 6 roll around, jay is clearly very uncomfortable... it's awesome! good for everybody (conan, kimmel, letterman) ALL joining forces to just kick the everliving fuck out of jay at every conceivable opportunity.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Cooking Tip: Potato Peeling


this daffy bitch could not be more pathetic and annoying, but the trick with the potatoes is awesome. i peeled a 10 pound bag of potatoes a week ago to make a metric ton of potato soup, and it was a pain in the ass and took almost an hour (i was watching tv while i did it, it's not like i was peeling potatoes with my feet or anything). this looks way better.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I Realize That This Is Several Months Late, But...



i was in the shower the other day, and it occured to me that there are a LOT of thematic and stylistic similarities between gaga's bad romance video and david fincher's classic madonna video, express yourself. i call it fincher's video, because madonna's career has been all about recognizing other people's talent and then misappropriating it as her own- sort of like sitting on somebody else's handlebars as the person peddling sweats balls and wheezes as madonna screams "WHEEEEEE!! Look at MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!*" a lot of (or, you know, ALL) the anti-gaga stuff i've heard could easily be said about madonna... i think that the pains that have been taken to portray lady gaga as being an active part of the creative process is a reaction to that, and part of a larger trend toward giving ALL of the credit to the recording artist- beyoncé's writing credits, for example.

*(it's WWTDD.COM day here at SLWMAC- i couldn't find the original posting, but the madonna/handlebars analogy originally appeard there- and i think it was probably funnier the way he wrote it.)

Subtext: "Suck These Ginger Balls"




Jay Leno is a cold turd, and he always has been. Fuck Jay Leno.

i would go on, but i believe that the great WWTDD.COM said it best:

'"He even took a few shots at Jay Leno, as he should. Leno is a little underhanded bitch. ‘The Late Shift’ talks about him hiding in closets to spy on meetings. ‘Headlines’ is the exact same thing as ‘Small Town News’, which Letterman has been doing since the 80‘s. In his autobiography, he tells a story about appearing on the Dinah Shore show (read the entire story here, word for word from his book). It’s a cute story and would be even cuter if it had happened to him. In reality it happened to [lesser-known comedian Jeff] Altman."'

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Five Years


my favorite david bowie song is five years. seu jorge did a bunch of david bowie covers for 'the life aquatic with steve zissou' starring bill murray, himself, et al. below is his cover, in portuguese.

here is bowie performing the song with arcade fire- i was going to put the original up, but the sound quality i found online was shitty. this is a pretty good version, though when that amish lead singer dude starts trying to elbow his way into the vocals toward the end, it's a little awkward.

BELOW are excerpts from the Flight of the Conchords episode from season 1 where Jermaine and Murray convince Brett that he's bulimic, and Brett starts having Nocturnal Visits from David Bowie in various incarnations. VERY funny shit, i strongly advise you check out the three clips below, even if you didn't like the clips above/don't like david bowie at all.



"receiving data transmissions from david bowie's nipple antennae..."

enjoy your day!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

George Lucas Must Have Been THRILLED By This


watch the whole thing. it makes you wish that the French had done this to ALL the landmark genre films from the 70's- like Alien, for example.

Still, as awful/awesome/awesomely awful as this is, it still PALES in comparison to the unmitigated HORROR that is Jar Jar.

Ganked from House of Vader- obviously, lol.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

In Heaven


they don't make 'em like the pixies anymore.

or like eraserhead, for that matter.

David Lynch + Pixies = Unmitigated Bliss

lynch's influence is difficult to overstate- as seen below.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Black Books



Season One, Episode One.
Even if you don't like sitcoms, or if you're some obnoxious snob who has a fundamental problem with "anything with laugh-tracks," you would be doing yourself a profound disservice by not watching at LEAST the first episode of Black Books. If you're bored enough to waste your life reading my blog, then you're MORE than bored enough to spend 22 minutes giving this BBC comedy a fair shake. Take me at my word and reap the reward. it's that easy.

go to Hulu- the entire 3 season series (18 episodes) is available at the moment. C'mon- No lagging!