Sunday, July 26, 2009

The Aunt Cyd Cancelleth


My aunt had the week from hell, including but not limited to cat health problems, car problems, and Bees. In light of the fact that she's being followed around by multiple biblical plagues, i don't fucking want her around me right now, thank you very much. We have rescheduled for weekend after next. she would come next weekend, but she's going to the live Antiques Roadshow.

And YES i've coached her on her reactions so that they're more likely to use her on the TV ("now make the face for when you've ruined something really expensive with lemon pledge!").

Friday, July 24, 2009

The Aunt Cyd Cometh


my aunt cyd is coming to visit this weekend, and i am cooking up a storm!

Stuff i have already made or am going to be making this weekend include:

Cherry Kiwi Tea Cake with Lime

Sweet Salty Spicy Candied Almonds (with Chili and Fennel- Better than it sounds!)

Eggplant Parmesan w/linguini and Homemade Marinara

Salmon with Mashed Kiwi and Ginger

Olive Bread

Homemade Roast Garlic Mashed Potatoes with Gorgonzola and Green Onion

Pan Cooked Chard with Garlic and Vinegar

Baguette w/ Cream Cheese, Prosciutto and Salted Chopped Dates

So far i've done the Tea Cake and the Almonds... Today i plan on doing the Chard, the Olive Bread and probably making the Marinara for the Eggplant Parm in advance.

Pictures to be inserted later.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Ha Ha: Fuck You, Cambridge PD


Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr was accosted by police for going into his OWN HOME last thursday. He is not only a Harvard Professor, but also a former PBS host, and was named by Time Magazine as one of the 25 most influential people in the United States in 1997.

Needless to say, this has not gone over very well.

From The Associated Press via MSN.com:

Charges against Harvard scholar dropped
Cops responding to report of break-in arrested black scholar at home

BOSTON - Prosecutors on Tuesday agreed to drop a disorderly conduct charge against Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. after the noted African-American scholar accused police of racism when he was arrested at his home following a report of a break-in there.

In a statement, the city and police department of Cambridge, Mass., said they had "recommended to the Middlesex County District Attorney that the criminal charge against Professor Gates not proceed."

"The City of Cambridge, the Cambridge Police Department, and Professor Gates acknowledge that the indicent of July 16, 2009 was regrettable and unfortunate," the statement continued. "This incident should not be viewed as one that demeans the character and reputation of Professor Gates or the character of the Cambridge Police Department. All parties agree that this is a just resolution to an unfortunate set of circumstances."

Earlier, Gates' supporters said he had been the victim of racial profiling.

Gates had forced his way through the front door of his home because it was jammed, his lawyer said Monday.

Cambridge police say they responded to the well-maintained two-story home near campus after a woman reported seeing "two black males with backpacks on the porch," with one "wedging his shoulder into the door as if he was trying to force entry."

The woman, Lucia Whalen, is the circulation and fundraising manager at Harvard Magazine, a news and alumni magazine affiliated with the school. The magazine's offices are down the street from Gates' home.

By the time police arrived, Gates was already inside. Police say he refused to come outside to speak with an officer, who told him he was investigating a report of a break-in.

"Why, because I'm a black man in America?" Gates said, according to a police report written by Sgt. James Crowley. The Cambridge police refused to comment on the arrest Monday.

Gates — the director of Harvard's W.E.B. Du Bois Institute for African and African American Research — initially refused to show the officer his identification, but then gave him a Harvard University ID card, according to police.

"Gates continued to yell at me, accusing me of racial bias and continued to tell me that I had not heard the last of him," the officer wrote.

Handcuffed on porch

Gates said he turned over his driver's license and Harvard ID — both with his photos — and repeatedly asked for the name and badge number of the officer, who refused. He said he then followed the officer as he left his house onto his front porch, where he was handcuffed in front of other officers, Gates said in a statement released by his attorney, fellow Harvard scholar Charles Ogletree, on a Web site Gates oversees, TheRoot.com.

He was arrested on a disorderly conduct charge after police said he "exhibited loud and tumultuous behavior." He was released later that day on his own recognizance. An arraignment was scheduled for Aug. 26.

Gates, 58, has refused to speak publicly, referring calls to Ogletree.

"He was shocked to find himself being questioned and shocked that the conversation continued after he showed his identification," Ogletree said.

Ogletree declined to say whether he believed the incident was racially motivated, saying "I think the incident speaks for itself."

Some of Gates' African-American colleagues say the arrest is part of a pattern of racial profiling in Cambridge.

Allen Counter, who has taught neuroscience at Harvard for 25 years, said he was stopped on campus by two Harvard police officers in 2004 after being mistaken for a robbery suspect. They threatened to arrest him when he could not produce identification.

"We do not believe that this arrest would have happened if professor Gates was white," Counter said. "It really has been very unsettling for African Americans throughout Harvard and throughout Cambridge that this happened."

Sharpton: 'New low'

Civil rights activist the Rev. Al Sharpton said he will attend Gates' arraignment.

"This arrest is indicative of at best police abuse of power or at worst the highest example of racial profiling I have seen," Sharpton said. "I have heard of driving while black and even shopping while black but now even going to your own home while black is a new low in police community affairs."

Ogletree said Gates had returned from a trip to China on Thursday with a driver, when he found his front door jammed. He went through the back door into the home — which he leases from Harvard — shut off an alarm and worked with the driver to get the door open. The driver left, and Gates was on the phone with the property's management company when police first arrived.

Ogletree also disputed the claim that Gates, who was wearing slacks and a polo shirt and carrying a cane, was yelling at the officer.

"He has an infection that has impacted his breathing since he came back from China, so he's been in a very delicate physical state," Ogletree said.

Lawrence D. Bobo, the W.E.B. Du Bois Professor of the Social Sciences at Harvard, said he met with Gates at the police station and described his colleague as feeling humiliated and "emotionally devastated." He said he hoped police would drop the charges.

The Middlesex district attorney's office said it could not do so until after Gates' arraignment. The woman who reported what she thought was a break-in did not return a message Monday.

Gates joined the Harvard faculty in 1991 and holds one of 20 prestigious "university professors" positions at the school. He also was host of "African American Lives," a PBS show about the family histories of prominent U.S. blacks, and was named by Time magazine as one of the 25 most influential Americans in 1997.

"I was obviously very concerned when I learned on Thursday about the incident," Harvard president Drew Gilpin Faust said in a statement. "He and I spoke directly and I have asked him to keep me apprised."

Um... Michael Jackson Monkey Monkey Monkey Michael Jackson!!!


so my profile views on blogger have jumped from around 260 to 320 in the last two days or so?! this blog has been up since February, and it took all that time to accumulate 260, so this is a big jump. i have noticed that blogger has been a bit inconsistant at times, but this seems strange even for them. After thinking about it, i decided that mentioning Michael Jackson's hair catching on fire on a blog with the word "monkey" in the title must have been what did it.

Rename your blog and test it out for yourself!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Walter Cronkite



They don't make them like this anymore. When i was in military school, Walter Cronkite came and i got to meet him. I remember it as one of the few times at military school where i felt that doing a 2-3 hour parade in fulldress uniform was worth it. Hearing him speak was an opportunity and experience that i still value very highly, and even though he was about a million years old THEN, it's still really surprising and upsetting to me that he has died, and i think it's just WRONG that farrah fawcett and michael jackson have gotten 20 to 1 media coverage over WC, no offense to the deceased, but i guess 'that's the way it is' these days.

From CBS.com

July 17, 2009
Walter Cronkite Dies
Television Pioneer, CBS Legend, Passes Away in New York at 92

The "most trusted man in America" is gone.

Walter Cronkite, who personified television journalism for more than a generation as anchor and managing editor of the "CBS Evening News," has died. CBS vice president Linda Mason says Cronkite died at 7:42 p.m. Friday with his family by his side at his home in New York after a long illness. He was 92.

Known for his steady and straightforward delivery, his trim moustache, and his iconic sign-off line -"That’s the way it is" - Cronkite dominated the television news industry during one of the most volatile periods of American history. He broke the news of the Kennedy assassination, reported extensively on Vietnam and Civil Rights and Watergate, and seemed to be the very embodiment of TV journalism.

"Cronkite came to be the sort of personification of his era," veteran PBS Correspondent Robert McNeil once said. "He became kind of the media figure of his time. Very few people in history, except maybe political and military leaders, are the embodiment of their time, and Cronkite seemed to be."

At one time, his audience was so large, and his image so credible, that a 1972 poll determined he was "the most trusted man in America" - surpassing even the president, vice president, members of Congress and all other journalists. In a time of turmoil and mistrust, after Vietnam and Watergate, the title was a rare feat - and the label stuck.

"For decades, Walter Cronkite was the most trusted voice in America," said President Barack Obama in a statement. "His rich baritone reached millions of living rooms every night, and in an industry of icons, Walter set the standard by which all others have been judged."

Mr. Obama said that Cronkite calmly shared the world's news while never losing his integrity.

"But Walter was always more than just an anchor," Mr. Obama said. "He was someone we could trust to guide us through the most important issues of the day; a voice of certainty in an uncertain world. He was family. He invited us to believe in him, and he never let us down. This country has lost an icon and a dear friend, and he will be truly missed."

Cronkite's achievements were remarkable for a man whose beginnings were anything but remarkable.

Walter Leland Cronkite was born in St. Joseph, Missouri on November 4, 1916, the only child of a dentist father and homemaker mother. When he was still young, his family moved to Texas. One day, he read an article in "Boys Life" magazine about the adventures of reporters working around the world - and young Cronkite was hooked. He began working on his high school newspaper and yearbook and, in 1933, he entered the University of Texas at Austin to study political science, economic and journalism. He never graduated. He took a part time job at the Houston Post, left college to do what he loved: report.

After working as a general assignment reporter for the Post and a sportscaster in Oklahoma City, Cronkite got a job in 1939 working for United Press. He went to Europe to cover World War II as part of the "Writing 69th," a group of reporters who found themselves covering some of the most important developments in the war, including the D-Day invasion, bombing missions over Germany, and later, the Nuremburg war trials. In 1940, he married Mary Elizabeth Maxwell - known as "Betsy" - and for the next six decades she was the dutiful reporter’s wife, enduring sometimes long separations while he covered the world, and raising three children. Cronkite once wrote about her: ''I attribute the longevity of our marriage to Betsy's extraordinary keen sense of humor, which saw us over many bumps (mostly of my making), and her tolerance, even support, for the uncertain schedule and wanderings of a newsman."

While working for the UP, Cronkite was offered a job at CBS by Edward R. Murrow - and he turned it down. He finally accepted a second offer in 1950, and stepped into the new medium of television. In the early '50s, it was a medium many of the "serious" journalists at CBS and elsewhere viewed with skepticism, if not disdain. Radio and print, they contended, were for real reporters; television was for actors or comedians.

At first, it seemed an unlikely fit. Walter Cronkite, with his serious demeanor and unpretentious style - honed by his years of unvarnished reporting at UP - was named host of "You Are There" in which key moments of history were recreated by actors. Cronkite was depicted on camera interviewing "Joan of Arc" or "Sigmund Freud." But somehow, he managed to make it believable.

The young director of the series, Sidney Lumet said he picked Cronkite for the job because "the premise of the series was so silly, so outrageous, that we needed somebody with the most American, homespun, warm ease about him."

During his early years at CBS, Cronkite was also named host of "The Morning Show" on CBS, where he was paired with a partner: a puppet named Charlemagne. But he distinguished himself with his coverage of the 1952 and 1956 political conventions and as narrator of the documentary series "Twentieth Century." In 1961, CBS named him the anchor of the "CBS Evening News" - a 15 minute news summary anchored for several years by Douglas Edwards.

At the time, the broadcast lived in the long shadow cast by NBC’s Huntley-Brinkley Report, the most popular television newscast in the country. Expectations for the Cronkite newscast were not high. But in 1963, the broadcast was expanded to 30 minutes - and Cronkite won a title for which he had long campaigned, Managing Editor. The added time gave the broadcast more depth and variety, and the title gave Cronkite more influence over the content and coverage.

And it came at a significant time. In September of that year, Cronkite launched the expanded program with an extended interview with President John F. Kennedy. Two months later, it was Cronkite who broke into the soap opera "As The World Turns" to announce that the president had been shot - and later to declare that he had been killed.

It was a defining moment for Cronkite, and for the country. His presence - in shirtsleeves, slowly removing his glasses to check the time and blink back tears - captured both the sense of shock, and the struggle for composure, that would consume America and the world over the next four days.

Cronkite’s audience began to grow - but not quickly enough for network executives who, in 1964, decided to try an anchor team at the conventions - Robert Trout and Roger Mudd - to rival Chet Huntley and David Brinkley at NBC. Cronkite was not happy about the change, and viewer reaction was swift. Over 11,000 letters poured in protesting the switch. Network executives never tried that again. In 1966, The CBS Evening News began to overtake the Huntley-Brinkley report in the ratings, and in 1967 it took the lead. It remained there until Cronkite’s retirement in 1981.

They were years filled with astonishing change - and indelible history. In 1968, Cronkite returned from visiting Vietnam and declared on television:"It seems now more certain than ever that the bloody experience of Vietnam is a stalemate." President Lyndon Johnson, on hearing that, reportedly said, "If I’ve lost Cronkite, I’ve lost America." Not long after, Johnson declared his intention not to run for re-election. That same year saw the assassinations of Martin Luther King, Jr. and Robert F. Kennedy - two more shocking moments that bound the country together through the medium of television. Once again, as he had five years earlier, Cronkite was the steadying force during a time of national sorrow.

"It's a kind of chemistry," former Johnson aide and CBS News commentator Bill Moyers once said. "The camera either sees you as part of the environment or it rejects you as an alien body, and Walter had 'it,' whatever 'it' was."

One of Cronkite’s enthusiasms was the space race. And in 1969, when America sent a man to the moon, he couldn’t contain himself. "Go baby, go!," he said, as Apollo XI took off. He ended up performing what critics described as"Walter to Walter" coverage of the mission - staying on the air for 27 of the 30 hours that Apollo XI took to complete its mission.

Cronkite even managed to have a surprising influence on world affairs. In 1977, he interviewed Egyptian President Anwar El-Sadat, who told Cronkite that, if invited, he’d go to Jerusalem to meet with Prime Minister Menachem Begin. The move was unprecedented. The next day, Begin invited Sadat to Jerusalem for talks that eventually led to the Camp David accords and the Israeli-Egyptian treaty.

In 1981, Cronkite announced he would retire at the age of 65, to make way for a new anchor in the chair, Dan Rather. A commentator in the New Republic said it was like "George Washington leaving the dollar bill." There were so many requests for interviews, eventually all of them were turned down.

In retirement, Cronkite kept busy with other projects - a short-lived magazine program on CBS called "Walter Cronkite's Universe," a few documentaries, plus a seat on the CBS board of directors. He spent a considerable amount of time at his summer home in Martha’s Vineyard, sailing the boat he named for his wife, "The Betsy." And he wrote his autobiography, "A Reporter’s Life," published in 1996.

In 2005, Cronkite’s wife Betsy died after a battle with cancer. His two daughters and son survive him.

While Cronkite kept a lower profile in his later years, he did make a significant contribution to the "CBS Evening News with Katie Couric": it is his voice that has been used during the opening of the broadcast since its debut in 2006, bridging generations and signifying the newscast’s strong link to its storied past.

As Cronkite said on March 6, 1981, concluding his final broadcast as anchorman: "Old anchormen, you see, don't fade away, they just keep coming back for more. And that's the way it is."

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Michael Jackson's Head Catches on Fire

here's the actual footage of his head catching fire during that pepsi commercial back in the mid eighties. it's crazy how his head is quite clearly engulfed in flames and he's just obliviously dancing for what seems like kind of a long time for somebody whose head is on fire. maybe he started drinking demerol smoothies earlier than this.

*EDIT*

i had to remove the embedded video because it starts playing as soon as you come to the blog, and i thought that that was really annoying, so here's a link to US weekly's MJ scalp-o-fire video.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

I Don't Want To Seem Megalomaniacal Or Anything, BUT...

This totally reminds me of me and Germone's relationship dynamic:


Check out the Steven L. Cloud webcomic Boy On A Stick and Slither. it's awesome. you'll love it.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

I May Actually Have a Stroke Over This


this is pretty lame, thought i'd mine it for content.

you know how on social sites you have PROFILES that say if you're seeing anybody or not, and then you have body paragraphs describing yourself in any myriad ways, etc? yeah, me too. also, if you've FILLED OUT one of these, then you should have the mindgrapes to comprehend the idea.

so this dude drops me a message, like: "i figured it couldn't hurt to say hi and see if you respond."

i looked at his profile, and even though there's not a whole lot to indicate anything about him really, i am new to the area, and am looking to make friends (as clearly stated on my profile), because i'm fucking LONELY seeing only my boyfriend everyday, so í message him back. he seems ok, you know?

i tell him (in the interest of clarity, not like i assume that his message indicated sexual interest or anything) that i have a boyfriend, but want to make friends because i'm new to the area (as clearly stated in my profile), and he writes me back that he is looking for more (ok, fine) but who doesn't want more friends, and that i should write him telling him ABOUT MYSELF (hellOOOO, PROFILE, i'm assuming you SAW IT, you did message me) but wait, that's not all, he also wants me to tell him ABOUT MY BOYFRIEND, and "let's hope that we can be friends."

REALLY, DUDE? i didn't ask him for a FUCKING KIDNEY, i said that i would like to make friends, and he is asking me for A WRITTEN APPLICATION just to hang out? fuck you, buddy- you're an assistant manager at a bookstore making 20 grand a year(not that that matters), not the fucking dutchess of york.

by the way, my profile is pretty extensive... probably obnoxiously so, but i doubt anybody could read it and not have a somewhat formed grasp of what my personality and my life entail.

i don't know why this whole thing made me so DAMN MAD, but it just infuriated me.

one final thing: he had one of those "casual" professional photos up on his profile, where he's wearing a black leather jacket IN THE FOREST, with his chin resting on his fist as he stares into the camera.

AGAIN, i must say REALLY?!?

*ok, edit: he's technically not resting his chin on his fist, but looking at that picture it is NOT HARD TO IMAGINE HIM DOING SO, is it?*

one more picture of this TOOLBOX:

and one final thought, and i swear this is the last one.

i think it's REALLY SAD that i am so lonely that i am willing to hang out with some stick-up-the-ass POSER asshat who is CLEARLY a massive douchebag. LOOK AT THIS PICTURE, and tell me this guy is not A FUCKING LOSER.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Did You Know...



That Donatella Versace's old face and Val Kilmer's current face are the same person?

Sunday, July 5, 2009

THE SLAMMER!


There's this new RAG-MAG called THE SLAMMER! and it's all fucked up mugshots and somewhat unneccessary captions. When me and Germone were coming back from Prescott last Wednesday, we stopped in Phoenix to see my best friend Rob, and before we parted ways, we went to 7-11 where i saw this awesome abomination next to the register. i FLIPPED OUT, and rob bought it for me. I plan on cutting out scary convict pictures and sticking them onto all sorts of things around the house.

i am SOOOOOO glad that this magazine didn't exist when i was still doing drugs. I only got arrested the once, and i kind of looked cute in my mugshot all things considered (i looked about 1000 times more badass then i actually felt, mostly because i knew that my druggie friends would see it and i didn't want to be mocked in my absence beyond what was obviously unavoidable) but STILL. once that shit's on google, you're DOOMED.

maybe i'll unroll a roll of toilet paper and then put a whole bunch of pictures on it, roll it back up and patiently wait to hear Germone SCREAM LIKE A GIRL while he's taking a dump. tonight when he got in the shower, i was on the back porch scooping Juju's litterbox and the bathroom window slid open and he turned on the water... i snuck up and pushed my face against the screen and screamed in a demon voice: "I CAN SMELL YOUR BUTT!"

and germone almost slipped and fell while crying out "AAAAAAHHOHMYGODMOTHERFUCK! FUCKYOU!"

i have GOT to get him to list me as his beneficiary...

PS: if you like that kind of thing, there's this blog called Famous Like Me and dude that writes it has this thing called Mugshot Mondays that's pretty hilarious. He puts up about ten mugshots total, and the first six or so are cute guys with their charges, and then the last three or four are SCARY HELL DENIZEN mugshots with captions like "Pure Sexuality" and stuff. it's a good time.

This Is Why You're Fat


(spam musubi)

There's this website that i like called This Is Why You're Fat and they have nothing but grotesque foodstuffs that are seemingly chosen for their ability to telepathically induce shooting arm pains for the viewer. It's not as good as Awful Plastic Surgery, but what is?

Anyway, cutting to the chase, i was on my friends Livejournal today and saw a picture he posted under the heading "Breakfast of Champions" (below).

(Bacon, Marbled Cheese Slices and Guacamole on White Rolls)

I submitted it. It's more "real life" than the RIDICULOUSLY inedible things that usually make it on there. I think it's got a shot.