WELCOME Aaron Cobbett!

I LOVE your stuff and i think you're an absolute genius (NOT a word i bandy about, by the way), and i am HONORED, THRILLED, and SHOCKED to have your readership! if you're here because you lost some sort of bet, don't feel like you have to tell me, ok?

:-)

*(turns away from imaginary Aaron Cobbett to face his decidedly imaginary readership)*

I just found out about him when i started reading the GREAT HOUSE OF VADER this last december (THANK YOU, jason), but i'm glad i did because WOW?! If you are reading this and are unfamiliar, go check his stuff out at aaroncobbett.com/. That means ALL FOUR OF YOU! GET!!

PS, i WANT to put a picture up, but i feel like to put one up or even a selection of Cobbett's stuff up would almost be misleading because his stuff is so vast and varied? you guys should truly check out the site.

RIP Twitters

So DJ AM died from crack and pills Friday and all these celebrities that are supposed to have known him and been friends with him are TWITTERING their thoughts and reactions to his death. Twitter is FUCKING LAME anyway (basically, if Ashton Kutcher is at all interested or prolific at something, ABANDON THE FUCKING SHIP; see trucker hats, demi moore), but twittering text message sized EULOGIES for somebody you knew and allegedly cared for, personally or professionally, is simply grossly insensitive and just about as LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR as human behavior can get.

If i were a celebrity that had just died of a crack/pill overdose and fucking JOHN MAYER were TWITTERING philosophic waxiness about me hours after the fact, i would fucking POLTERGEIST HIS ASS from beyond the grave for as long as it would take to DRAG HIM TO HELL.

i want to eat ALLIGATOR!!!

In Living Color seemed KIND OF funny to me when i watched it when i was a little eight or nine year old kid in PERU, NEBRASKA, but when i see old episodes or whatever from it NOW, it pretty much sucks EXCEPT for a few choice skits, the one below being one of them.

i have to say, this is pretty much PRECISELY what one might imagine a date with GRACE JONES would be like.

From Hell

from awkwardfamilyphotos.com:

LIFE GOAL ACHIEVED: KINDLE EDITION

my financial aid finally came, and so i placed my order for a 2nd generation kindle. i am SO EXCITED!! i always carry about four or so reading books with me whenever i go anywhere (i'm an intellectual, you see), and so this will lighten the load, plus it has some amazing apps AND there are sites where you can download kindle books for free AND if something is brand new and i just fucking WANT IT NOW, i can download it wirelessly right where i am. plus, they lowered the price on the kindle 2s so it was only $299, and that's not so bad.

i seriously haven't spent ANY money this summer on anything that i wanted, it was all just basic life needs the last four months, so i treated myself to 3 new shirts at threadless.com.

they are awesome.

(HINT: "i don't care if monday's blue...")

SPACE INVADERS!!!


explanation for n00bs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J---aiyznGQ
+
http://www.amazon.com/Mountain-Mens-Three-Short-Sleeve/dp/B002HJ377A/ref=pd_ts_a_12?ie=UTF8&s=apparel (READ THE REVIEWS)
=

Raise Your Hand If You Like Megadeth (yes- you in the back!)

Happy Birthday, Fucker!

Volunteering (part 2)

Ok, it would appear that my anxiety was somewhat unfounded...

Today went really well with my family. Everybody was smiling and happy and laughing and somehow this old guy with a cool little hat who speaks Nepali came over and kicked it (a medium sized miracle in and of itself that they found somebody who speaks their language), and even the father who doesn't walk without assistance came out and sat and chilled. The mom, who was grim and unhappy to say the least the last time i was over, was even heard laughing. I attempted some Nepali (hello, thank you, goodbye) and it's HARD to pronounce, except for Namasté, but that was probably the biggest obstacle of the day. Me and the adult children filled out applications and tomorrow we're going to turn some of them in and practice our speaking to potential employer skills.

I guess last time was awkward for everybody, and that must have been why the mood was so tense, along with my raging fears of inferiority, lol. i had this idea in my mind like they were totally isolated and alone in this bleak apartment (the apartment is still kind of bleak, to be fair) and didn't know what to do etc etc, and i guess that that's SORT of true, but this time i got to see them all happy, and that was all i really needed was to know that they can be happy here, with or without assistance from me. They're already forging relationships and finding common ground and all that, so yay!

pressure's off, all is well, and this will all be alright i think. I just hope that jobs come soon. that would be awesome. that's a good 50% of it right there, i think.

Volunteering

So i FINALLY met the refugee family i'm going to be working with (after initiating the long drawn out process in the beginning of june) and i'm kind of freaking out because there is SO MUCH need there, and i know it's not my job to make their lives here PERFECT, i'm just sort of supposed to be a guide and help them hook up with jobs and practice english and learn how to shop on the cheap and ride the bus, but considering how small the amount of money they get to live off of is, i kind of feel like the pressure is ON to get them jobs and stuff. their apartment is practically BARE, their living room has one futon in it and a tv on the floor (they made a joke about it being for decoration) that isn't hooked up and doesn't get any channels anyway since everything went digital. they don't know anyone, their ethnicity doesn't really EXIST in the united states, so there is ZERO sense of community for them AND these people have been in a refugee camp for years and years and years, and the adult children i guess grew up in them so yeah. The family consists of two older parents and their two adult children, one boy and one girl. the father can't walk and requires assistance and doesn't even have a wheelchair or walker or anything, so somebody has to be at home at all times. the adult kids want to get jobs and have the parents stay home. they're really nice, and i'm scared that i'm going to be insufficient. i am pretty sure that when they asked the volunteer coordinator if i drove or not and she told them no that their faces fell. i hope they don't feel like they got gypped. anyway, it was kind of painfully awkward. i can tell that they don't want to ask for anything, but we have to do something (it's a four hour a week commitment for 6 months) and they DO need help, so it's sort of like "well, maybe we should work on this" and they agree and i can't tell if it's because they're polite, or because they really think it's a good idea. so yeah... i am feeling very daunted by all of this, but i always feel super-intimidated when i start something i've never done before (see School) but then i end up doing well anyway, but this feels different because it's other people's lives, and they have SERIOUSLY been fucked over enough and if there has ever been an occasion where i need my overacheiver pathology to kick into high gear and take over my brain en todo, this is it.

Tuesday we're going to the library and filling out job applications and trying to find out about caregiving positions that require minimum certification (like mine!) for the daughter and um... yeah. i ordered a map and a Nepali to English dictionary on amazon and i'm thinking about giving them my dvd player (or at least lending it to them) since germone has one anyway and we almost always watch tv in the living room now that we got a couch. i looked on netflix for movies in Nepali, but i couldn't find any... just an asian movie with chow yun fat in it called "witch from Nepal" and while i thought it kind of looked good, it kind of seemed like maybe the first cultural offering i give to them shouldn't paint their ethnic culture as being witchy or evil in nature. friday after i met them, i came home and got on the phone looking for a free wheelchair, and i finally found one (my old in home care job taking care of ray- my ex-boss/friend judy still has his wheelchair in the garage) but it's in prescott, which is four hours away one way, 8 hours away round trip, but at least i know it's there. they're supposed to have some sort of health care here, but i'm not sure if it's state health care or something special, but it should be provided, but i have yet to hear back from the coordinator about it, and i'm not sure if i should be directing my questions to her or if there's a caseworker i should be talking to or what. Anyway, i feel like a COMPLETE ASSHOLE for sitting around this very comfortable apartment all summer feeling sorry for myself because i'm in this city that i don't know and didn't have anything going on. I KIND OF felt like an asshole for feeling that way when i was feeling that way, but now i feel like a totally spoiled, entitled, self indulgent douchebag. i mean, at least i had TV to watch in my own language. Even when i was in Brazil i had all the american tv i could watch. You know what, though? Maybe i AM the right person for this job after all, because what i lack in having a car, i more than compensate for with my WHITE AMERICAN GUILT! MY SHAME IS THEIR GAIN!

I'm a Driver, I'm a Winner

um, ok... i know that my blog has been ass lately BUT i just want to let everybody know that soon i will be living a productive life again. One in which i leave the house more than three times a week. one in which i interact with others and (almost certainly) get into conflicts with people who are not Das Germonicorn.

ALL THIS AND MORE await you, as you peruse my blogular FANTASIA

in the coming weeks and months.

(basically i'm going to have school to write about, and that doesn't SOUND like much, but when you're all BON VIVANT like i've been all summer, it's the difference between quiet desperation and the illusion of meaning)

going up to prescott to see my gay dads again before school starts, back in tucson on monday, august 17th.

FUCK YOU I'M AN ANTEATER

AWESOME.