Craig Ferguson Rules

Craig Ferguson's Doctor Who Cold Open.

Ten Days of Betty: 4, 3, 2 and 1 Days Left

Here's a mishmash of Betty White stuff, old and new. i love BW, but holy fucking christ, i am kind of tired of writing about her.


Still, don't forget to watch SNL's Mother's Day episode tonight with Betty White (and musical guest Jay-Z... I hope he does 99 Problems. that's my ringtone, lol), Tina Fey, Rachel Dratch, Maya Rudolph and others... it's going to be an extravaganza!

and now back to our regularly scheduled programming here on SLWMAC.

I Was Wrong

Twitter is Awesome. I mean, it's really stupid too, but it's got this duality that saves it.

Behold: Douglas Coupland linked to this article about a dude who travels the world fixing crumbling landmarks and architectural wonders with LEGO. that's fucking cool, i don't care who you are.

also, i'm still finding my twittervoice, but feel free to follow me HERE.

OMG Becky, I Can't Fucking Wait

The news came out last week and everybody knew about it i think, but Betty White is hosting SNL on May 8th- the mother's day episode.

They're pulling out all the stops to make this as EPIC as possible.



Tina Fey, Amy Poelher, Rachel Dratch, Maya Rudolph and Molly Shannon (not pictured, but you all know what she looks like) will all be backing up our girl Betty. It should be pretty fucking good. i'm hoping that all the guest stars will have a role in writing the episode's material- not that Seth Myers and Co aren't more than capable, but there are some real comedic luminaries here, and all of them female, and it could be that they'd have a little extra insight when it comes to writing sketches for a woman like BW.

OH! they should TOTALLY get Maya Rudolph's boyfriend Quentin Tarantino to write a sketch! can you IMAGINE?

"Do You Have Whores In YOUR Garden?"

Craig Has Drank Of The Twitter Kool-Aid

The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson is an official Still Life With Monkey And Cigarette "Shows That I Like" Selection. One of the reasons that i like this show are the graphics. they are often very funny. Also, he often opens his show with puppets and a man-gimp. That's a winner by itself right there. Finally, he has the great BETTY WHITE on FREQUENTLY. One time, betty brought a leather man-slave with her... ON A LEASH! and yes, i have looked for the clip, to no avail. Anyway, he joined Twitter, which i find personally repugnant. I mean, to me Twitter is kind of like, 'HEY! let's squeeze ANY AND ALL meaning out of our personal interactions, and then MAKE THEM VIEWABLE for third parties!' It's like the stupidity of the nature of myspace, but in concentrate form.

BUT, I FORGIVE CRAIG because he at least made a good graphic about it.

If you're only going to watch one of these videos, i suggest the one at the bottom of this entry. it's a greatest hits compilation of the "what did we learn on the show tonight, craig?" kitten. If you have time for TWO, i recommend the last TWO on this entry. check 1:26 and 2:26 on the 'email' one!

We Go Together Like A Crackhead And Crack

So there's a new season of Important Things With Demetri Martin, which is an official STILL LIFE WITH MONKEY AND CIGARETTE "shows that i like" selection. Even "Taking Woodstock" (directed by the great Ang Lee) was good, even though it A.) didn't feature the trademark ang lee thanksgiving scene and B.) was about 1960's counterculture, which is almost ALWAYS toxic-bad subject matter.

I kind of have a little bit of a crush on Demetri Martin- he reminds me of this jewish dude i was in a halfway house with in 2004 named Ari who was really sweet and funny. he sort of looks like him, and they have the same voice, so maybe Demitri Martin isn't even funny, maybe he just reminds me of this pill head that i wanted to fuck who probably isn't even alive anymore.

Demetri Martin is (one of MANY) [a] good example(S) of "the guy i will never get" because he's TOO soft spoken and TOO gentle natured- while i find him attractive, he would almost certainly think i was too much of a dick, probably immediately, but almost certainly over time. I mean, Demetri Martin is straight, famous and i don't know him so it's a non-issue, but as a 'type' this (gay counterpart) kind of guy NEVER goes for me.

ps, i don't particularly like sarah silverman, but the promo she does with DM is pretty great, and her whole "thing" is the perfect foil for DM's super mild mannered/benevolent vibe.

The Sarah Silverman Program
Back to Back Music Video
www.comedycentral.com
Joke of the Day Stand-Up Comedy Free Online Games

Attention - Bruce the Funny Dog

Important Things with Demetri Martin
www.comedycentral.com
Joke of the Day Stand-Up Comedy Free Online Games

Monsters Under The Bed

BONUS TRACK!

Have a nice day!

Five Years

my favorite david bowie song is five years. seu jorge did a bunch of david bowie covers for 'the life aquatic with steve zissou' starring bill murray, himself, et al. below is his cover, in portuguese.

here is bowie performing the song with arcade fire- i was going to put the original up, but the sound quality i found online was shitty. this is a pretty good version, though when that amish lead singer dude starts trying to elbow his way into the vocals toward the end, it's a little awkward.

BELOW are excerpts from the Flight of the Conchords episode from season 1 where Jermaine and Murray convince Brett that he's bulimic, and Brett starts having Nocturnal Visits from David Bowie in various incarnations. VERY funny shit, i strongly advise you check out the three clips below, even if you didn't like the clips above/don't like david bowie at all.



"receiving data transmissions from david bowie's nipple antennae..."

enjoy your day!

George Lucas Must Have Been THRILLED By This

watch the whole thing. it makes you wish that the French had done this to ALL the landmark genre films from the 70's- like Alien, for example.

Still, as awful/awesome/awesomely awful as this is, it still PALES in comparison to the unmitigated HORROR that is Jar Jar.

Ganked from House of Vader- obviously, lol.

BRONSON

It opens in Tucson tomorrow, and it looks fucking BRILLIANT. will let you guys know!

The BEST trailer for this movie is on Youtube, but for some reason the embedding has been disabled, but CLICK HERE to check it out.

By the way, Tom Hardy- the lead- is rumoured to be taking over for Mel Gibson in the Mad Max franchise's upcoming reanimation! you can tell from the preview that he just KILLS in this role, and i'm super excited to see more of him in the future.

Teeeears of a Rapper....

WAAAHH! WAAAAHHH!
Blogger isn't showing my world AIDS day post that i posted like 10 hours ago or something in the Dashboard Reading List thingy.

i love Flight of the Conchords.

Rabbit

Among the finest of cautionary tales. Here's dude's website: http://www.runwrake.com/.

Who's The Boy You Like The Most?

i love this band. Here's a GREAT remix of my favorite song from their album "Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix." Below is the original song. Below that is a spin.com session where the band performs the songs "Lizstomania," and "1901." Get into this shit, yo.

Like the Shark, the Panda Has Millions of Teeth

which it uses like a hacksaw to cut through bone, candy and fences.



Sifl and Olly is one of the all time greatest things in the history of life, the universe and everything. This particular clip is my favorite from the entire series. I've seen it maybe a hundred times, and it invariably makes me laugh until i either cry, puke, shit my pants or pass out.

Lyrics to the Panda Song:

After dark, the pandas stalk,
Nightmare creatures, with black hearts.
Ravenous teeth that glow in the dark,
Feasting on bums that sleep in the park!

The pandas are coming!
So hide under your beds!
The pandas are coming!
They'll rip your ass to shreds!

The panda is indeed the most mysterious of all creatures
Shrouded in the enigma of his black and white coat
What kind of camouflage is this, black and white?
Hiding in an Oreo factory? Could be!
That's just another chapter in the ominous saga of the panda!

The pandas are coming
To rip off your head!
The pandas are coming
On a rampage of the dead!

Like the shark, the panda has millions of teeth-
Which it uses like a hacksaw to cut through bone, candy, and fences
The Chinese believe that if you find a discarded panda tooth
You have the power to summon Godzilla

I'm drunk on panda mystery!!

The pandas are coming!
So hide under your bed!
The pandas are coming!
They'll rip your ass to shreds!

This has been chapter 1 in my ongoing songs about the panda,
which shall cease at number 820.
You will see me again, Mr. Sifl!

Sifl: Just get a clue.
Panda Dude: Get a PANDA!

People Named Seth Are On Average 84% More Awesome Than Non-Seths

It used to be 3 percentage points higher, but i dragged that shit DOWN. All the other seths always pick me last for dodge ball.

WELCOME Aaron Cobbett!

I LOVE your stuff and i think you're an absolute genius (NOT a word i bandy about, by the way), and i am HONORED, THRILLED, and SHOCKED to have your readership! if you're here because you lost some sort of bet, don't feel like you have to tell me, ok?

:-)

*(turns away from imaginary Aaron Cobbett to face his decidedly imaginary readership)*

I just found out about him when i started reading the GREAT HOUSE OF VADER this last december (THANK YOU, jason), but i'm glad i did because WOW?! If you are reading this and are unfamiliar, go check his stuff out at aaroncobbett.com/. That means ALL FOUR OF YOU! GET!!

PS, i WANT to put a picture up, but i feel like to put one up or even a selection of Cobbett's stuff up would almost be misleading because his stuff is so vast and varied? you guys should truly check out the site.

FUCK YOU I'M AN ANTEATER

AWESOME.