actually, since my grandpa's so surly these days (he's 84, and his brain's starting to go, and he gets really hostile with me for no reason) i've basically been quarantined in my room since i got back from spring break on the 23rd of March... it seems like forever, but i guess it's just been a few weeks. When he's here, i can't do ANYTHING. i can't do laundry (he washes a single outfit by itself! he has TONS of clothes here, and he washes his shit one hanky at a time!) because he'll decide to "help" and fold my shit, and then put it on top of the cat condo (which is coated with a blanket of cat hair from FOUR CATS). that's a for instance. So... i admit that i have been waiting for him to go to Nebraska. It's just really frustrating being certified caregiver who specializes in geriatric care and is specialty trained to work with alzheimers/dementia and constantly have to watch my aunt systematically create a total fucking monster. Overcare is BAD. Overcare is DEBILITATING, it encourages dependence that isn't yet neccessary, it creates an attitude of entitlement, etc. my aunt WILL NOT challenge anything he says or does EVER, and i'm not allowed to either. "could you not put my clean clothes on a cat condo?" is me 'antagonizing him' according to her.
You know, i seriously love my grandpa. i do. it's just frustrating when you know how to help and make something way better and it COULD be easily done, but you're not allowed. it's like watching somebody give the wrong meds, and you know they're the wrong meds, and it's only going to make the patient sicker faster, but you can't say anything because... well, because some people can't do confrontation at all, including constructive confrontation, which DOES EXIST and CAN HAPPEN. some people just need to pretend they exist in fucking candyland where magical gumdrop horsies and peppermint ponies live in perfect harmony and nothing bad ever happens and la la la la la LALALALALALA EVERYTHING'S WONDERFUL, LET'S ALL JUST PRETEND IT'S NOT HAPPENING...
um, ok, i'm ranting like a lunatic (*deep, soothing breath*).
having said that, I know my aunt is expending an incredible amount of energy providing the best care she knows how to provide. I love her SOOO much, and all i can do is be supportive of her, because she truly is doing her absolute best with a difficult and painful situation. She's not making all the choices i would make, but she is his daughter, and it's different when you're caring for a relative, especially a parent. it's so much harder- i just wish she would let me help her, but our views on methodology differ so much and she knows that, so i get excluded for it. i understand... it's still frustrating, though.
you know what? this was supposed to be a real quick picture share about the food i made on saturday. i guess i had some resentments that i can't express in the direct way i would prefer.
MOVING ON:
SOOOO, house to myself (YAY!) i did three weeks of laundry (thank GOD), i cleaned the kitchen, i taught myself how to make pita bread from scratch (i brushed it with butter and garlic before serving), i roasted garlic and made a really great hummus, i made a giant veggie tray, i cleaned out the refrigerator, i washed my bedlinens and comforters (juju has been shedding with the season change), i vaccumed my room, downloaded music, made some DVD+R ISO's with xavier:renegade angel and Squidbillies and WonderShowzen for my new friend, Travis. I hauled ass and took names (or i would have if i hadn't been at home alone). My friend michael came over and told me about the varitable harem of native american and latino boys he's "in love with" this week and it was great to see him... hadn't in a month at least, i think. maybe five or six weeks. Travis was late getting over to my place, but he arrived and we watched saturday night live and ate and just kicked it and talked music and watched cartoons. he's just a really cool, fun, smart, nice guy and he lives close. so that's awesome! i'm kind of lonely out here in the valley- when i lived here before i was on crystal so bad, and all my friends were drug friends, and now that i'm back they're all in jail and rob is in northern phoenix and melia is... well. anyway, i've been hoping for a friend that i could kick it with regularly, and it looks like i've found a good candidate for that! he says he'll take me to the gym with him and he'll show me how to do weight stuff. i would just ask the employees, but i feel retarded for needing instruction and intimidated by the extremely athletic, so this will be good. um, yeah. so...
Pictures! The food actually doesn't look that good in the pics, but it was good and i felt it was impressive in person.
Pita bread i made from scratch! i thought it came out more like naan, and so i looked up the recipie for that, and it's pretty similar, it just takes like, 2 hours to make instead of one. i honestly think that this could pass for naan, though. except this only has flour, salt, sugar and yeast with a little oil for when it's rising, and naan has egg.
This is the veggie platter i made with the garlic hummus. I LOVE my mini cuisinart thingie! it makes stuff like hummus a snap, and it's SO EASY to make, and so cheap, too, and everybody loves hummus. except communists. red bastards.
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