I Got Hoes (i got hoes) in DIfferent Area Codes (Area Codes)...

I'm not sure if i've mentioned it, but after Lu, i am officially wary of brazillian guys and of pianists in general. LUCKILY, this guy below, who has viewed my profile over and over from Olinda, Brazil is not a threat because he's straight, as per his profile status. *breathes sigh of relief/disappointment*
work it, gurl! It takes a man who is very comfortable with his HETEROSEXUAL and MASCULINE SEXUALITY to wear white leotards after labor day. especially with all the sparkly silver piping.

is it me, or is something a little off about his face?

AH, YES.... he's part fucking BEAR TRAP. and he's using mangoes as a metaphor for his love of... um.... boobs. because he's a vagina-o-holic.

it's so unfair that he's straight. all the really hot ones are.

ok, this is a different dude, obviously.

i saw this dude's picture, and i was like, "wow, he's pretty damn hot in a maybe a little bit to slick and stylish for me" kind of way. i was like "those are some wierd scars... i wonder what those are from?" i saw these, and i was like "oops... he's super stylish, and these look like model pictures. why is he even looking at my profile?"

then i saw the rockerboy shirtless pic, and i was like, "well, who am i to say who this guy can and cannot be into. if he likes me in all of my phsically lackluster glory, so be it..." and then i scrolled down and:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY'S KILLED HIM.... oh wait, there's a caption:

"i like to play on hooks."

of COURSE he does. he's super hot and has expressed interest in me. i'm lucky he's not asking me to poop on his face while his mom watches.

ok, different dude:

If you want some dude to make you be his dog, wouldn't you want to just find some super dominant dude who just does that sort of thing anyways? i like how he's got slippers in the shot. PS, this was taken at the hotel he works at... while he was working. imagine your boss finding that. OH! unless his boss was some sort of freaky leather daddy or something... but i imagine that most boys in the hotel industry are pig bottoms, so that's probably a pipe dream.

different dude: YES, that's right! i have been courted by the former Mr. Liza Minnelli... i think that's him, anyway. David Gest: dreamlover.

the next three pictures are of the same guy. His handle on okcupid is, get this, be_my_angel. This guy's like, 45 years old. get a fucking life, dude.

um, nice CHOKER made of shells.

oh look, he's returned to the blue lagoon. *note: that fish is only a foot and a half long.

mmmmm, creepy melanoma tanned gollum looking middle-aged dude with creepy wire nipple rings who wears those FUCKING SEASHELL CHOKERS, attends country thunder and is looking for someone to "be_his_angel." i am so hot right now.