THE SLAMMER!

There's this new RAG-MAG called THE SLAMMER! and it's all fucked up mugshots and somewhat unneccessary captions. When me and Germone were coming back from Prescott last Wednesday, we stopped in Phoenix to see my best friend Rob, and before we parted ways, we went to 7-11 where i saw this awesome abomination next to the register. i FLIPPED OUT, and rob bought it for me. I plan on cutting out scary convict pictures and sticking them onto all sorts of things around the house.

i am SOOOOOO glad that this magazine didn't exist when i was still doing drugs. I only got arrested the once, and i kind of looked cute in my mugshot all things considered (i looked about 1000 times more badass then i actually felt, mostly because i knew that my druggie friends would see it and i didn't want to be mocked in my absence beyond what was obviously unavoidable) but STILL. once that shit's on google, you're DOOMED.

maybe i'll unroll a roll of toilet paper and then put a whole bunch of pictures on it, roll it back up and patiently wait to hear Germone SCREAM LIKE A GIRL while he's taking a dump. tonight when he got in the shower, i was on the back porch scooping Juju's litterbox and the bathroom window slid open and he turned on the water... i snuck up and pushed my face against the screen and screamed in a demon voice: "I CAN SMELL YOUR BUTT!"

and germone almost slipped and fell while crying out "AAAAAAHHOHMYGODMOTHERFUCK! FUCKYOU!"

i have GOT to get him to list me as his beneficiary...

PS: if you like that kind of thing, there's this blog called Famous Like Me and dude that writes it has this thing called Mugshot Mondays that's pretty hilarious. He puts up about ten mugshots total, and the first six or so are cute guys with their charges, and then the last three or four are SCARY HELL DENIZEN mugshots with captions like "Pure Sexuality" and stuff. it's a good time.