Apparently It's Gender-Means-Nothing Day

So i was listening to the radio just now while i was on my way outside to get the laundry out of the dryer and the DJ was chuckling to herself in that lame smug adult contemporary radio station way (i keep the kitchen radio tuned to a really boring adult contemporary station because i like the background noise for when i'm cooking and doing dishes and shit, and that way i'm never tempted not to use the oven fan because i NEED to hear a song and the music isn't challenging at all, so i can sing along and not try to LISTEN to the words or anything... SHUT UP, DON'T JUDGE ME!) and she's all like:

"oh, ha ha ha, this is funny, moms. You're going to get a laugh out of this one! Well, maybe not the moms, but I laughed, and it'll make the dads laugh, too... So today's Mind Bender question for a Family Four Pass to something boring and lame that Seth Won't Be Able to Remember Four Minutes From Now When He is Mocking Me on his Blog is: Fifty Percent of Men who are new fathers admit to doing this."

i myself instantly thought "Develop Porn Addiction and/or Begin Illicit Affair," but i'm cynical like that.

Then John Mayer started douching out of the speakers, and i went outside to get the laundry and put a new load into the washer. When i came back in, she was taking her first caller:

"Fifty Percent of new dads admit to doing THIS. Let's take a call! Hi! You're on the Air! Fifty Percent of new dads admit to doing This..."

Male Voice:

"I'm going to say that fifty percent of new dads attempt to BREASTFEED their kids at some point."

*HORRIBLE SILENCE*

Male Voice:

"Ahhh... i guess that i'm in that, uh, fifty percent, a ha ha..."

Clearly SHOCKED AND APPALLED easy listening DJ lady:

"Ahhh... NO, that's not what we're looking for. THANKS FOR CALLING."

apparently adult contemporary listeners are BORDERLINE RETARDED, because the next answers were pretty stupid and lame. They were, as follows:

female voice:

"Put the diaper on backward?"

and then, IMMEDIATELY AFTER that was rejected, the next lady to call was like:

"Put the socks on backward?"

and finally, on the fourth caller, the old sounding lady that called in was like:

"They pretend to sleep through the baby crying at night. And, you know, that's OK, but they're not fooling anyone."

ding ding ding!

i should have stopped this story with the DJ hanging up on the 'INCREDIBLE MAN-TEAT,' huh? this was a bit of an anti-climax. How about a disturbing picture to compensate you for your time?

there you are! Go in Peace.