Job Search Suicide Blues

Christ on a muthafuckin' cracker, i hate looking for a job. It's the most depressing, self-esteem eroding process ever. i went on Jobing.com and looked under ALL health care positions available and FIRST OF ALL, it would seem that EVERYTHING caregiver oriented down here is SMI/DD (Seriously Mentally Ill/Developmentally Disabled), which is weird, and because of that they want you to have a driver's license and a clean driving record...

I, of course, have notoriously never had a license, and have only the most minimal of vehicular understanding... i have not, for example, ever performed a successful three-point turn.

SO i scrolled through probably 150 health care jobs, and GRANTED my certification level is not that impressive, but i only found 1 place that didn't exclude me because of the driving thing. Germonicorn says that he knows that at least 2 of the companies that have jobs posted on there just automatically put that on their job postings, and that MOST places if you get overnight shifts (which is what i wanted so me and germone could be on the same schedule) don't need you to drive or have a car, etc. i believe him and everything, but i'm still discouraged. I barely saw anything from care facilities (like, geriatric assisted living, which is what my background/experience is in) which is weird. those places have mad turnover- i'm just going to have to call around and find someplace, because i KNOW there have to be positions available for caregivers. i'd prefer to work at a larger one- they tend to not be as disgustingly negligent.

I ended up applying online at Circle K, lol. jobs like that are so weird to apply for- the app process is so severe, it's like you're applying for ownership of weapons grade plutonium or something. There's this Qwik Mart on the corner that i might be able to get a job at also... the night clerk says there's somebody who works there that they don't like, so maybe JUST MAYBE i can swoop in and follow my dreams of clerking at a poorly lit convenience store. That place seems like they'll hire whoever, up to and probably including the corpse from "Weekend at Bernies". Honestly, i don't care if i get hired shovelling shit for minimum wage, i just need to get some damn money coming in. it's only for the summer, anyways. I'm going to apply at Fucking Fry's Food and Drug later today, maybe get a job in their deli or something (i have recent deli experience from DeathStar Safeway, let's not forget!) and if that fails, Burger King it is. I don't even fucking care. i know how to say cheese and hamburger in spanish, it'll be fine.

Went to a volunteer fair yesterday and got information for a bunch of cool opportunities for community stuff, etc. I'm leaning toward Primavera, where i would be volunteering at a homeless drop in facility (showers, movies, a place to get off the street from morning to mid-day) and doing intake at the overnight homeless shelter. there are other places i'm interested in, too, but this was the thing that kind of really caught my eye. Having been HOMELESS HOMELESS (albeit on and off for only a couple of months, and i know that that's NOTHING compared to a lot of the people but BELIEVE ME, that is enough to get the picture- one day homeless feels like FOREVER, it's HORRIBLE, and people treat you like TOTAL SHIT, like, zero empathy, like they KNOW in there hearts that you somehow DESERVE it, and there's no WAY that bad shit happens to halfway decent people) before, and having experienced the UBERMISERY and dehumanization, i'm particularly impressed with the drop in center as a concept. it's a GREAT and humane resource to have for such a marginalized group. i figure it'll be good for me while i TRY to find a job, and it'll be positive and i can network and you never know what volunteering positions will lead to, you know? I'm kind of wowed by how Volunteering-oriented Tucson is. there's a lot of amazing stuff/projects going on out here, especially when you consider the relatively small size of the city/surrounding areas.

OH MY GOD, i can't wait for school to start... the halcyon days of living off of financial aid, and just studying and studying and studying... my classes are so rad this year, it's going to be great, i just know it.

I've been keeping myself busy with the aforementioned baking and also sticking cut out pictures of germone's face onto the random bizarro keepsakes that me and germone are both prone to...

For the sake of concluding this Eeyore-esque occupational angst-o-thon on an UP note:

BEHOLD, the GERMONICLOWN!

how's that for a big finish, eh? eh?