Kelly Clarkson is Smart

(This is kind of kunty, but so be it.)

At first glance, one might clutch at their pearls and mutter to themselves about (dear sweet christ she got HUGE) Kelly's somewhat noticeable weight gain. This would be understandable.

Look a minute longer, and you might be confounded by the sudden realization that Kelly Clarkson has never looked better... thanks in no small part to being in the context of the baby-eating Hell Goblin dragging her cloven heels right behind the singer. Kelly has observed rule number one for the visually lackluster- she has draped herself in hags.

Do you guys remember that shampoo 'system' infomercial/commercial that Cher did with that morbidly obese woman (Lori something) in the early nineties? They did this skit on SNL that parodied it- Chris Farley played Lori...

Here's the infomercial... couldn't find the parody, but anyway.

Cher interviewed women that had just used the shampoo. she handed them mirrors and asked them how they liked their newly shampoo'd 'look' and they were like, "it's ok, i guess," then Cher would make them sit next to Lori and ask them to look again, and she'd ask them how they felt they looked NOW, and they'd all be like "oh my god, i look AMAZING!"

SAME IDEA.

this is also the reason that i like shopping at Wal-Mart. I always leave feeling supersexxxy and self-confident. Not to mention the sneaking feeling that i might be the single smartest person on earth. Being in the context of Wal-Mart is kind of like LIFE grading on a really really generous curve.

this is a weird post. i haven't slept that much in the last 24 hours.