Hey Everybody...

pink and wrinkly, the aaron cobbett blog, has been renamed Rose Et Ride and is now HERE.

I guess Blogger's been tearing down blogs and not telling people why? Red Flag, Red Flag!

anyway, go over to Rose Et Ride and check it out!

CREEPSVILLE! (Kyle Lagerfeld Edition)

SLWMAC Presents: THE CIRCLE OF NON-LIFE!

begets

which was begotten by

KARL LAGERFELD IS A MURDERER!

Hakuna Matata, yo... the HUNGARIAN REMIX: RELOADED!

"The Fear" or "Looking the Statistical Gift Horse in the Mouth"

This semester, i've not been operating at the top of my game, and my courseload is harder than ever. I haven't had the gumption to force myself to study as much as i normally would. I have a statistics test tomorrow, and i'm scared of how i'll do. the first test for any class is always the scariest, because prior to that, you don't really know how an instructor is going to test. My saving grace is that i've done the math for the class's points for the semester, and if you attend every class and score perfectly on the online workshops and practice tests (which is possible for EVERYONE because you can retake the exact same test and it tells you the answers, before you email the results to the teacher) then you essentially have what i consider to be a guaranteed "starting grade" of 34% and some decimal change. This means that to get an A, you need to score 56% or higher (on average) for all the other things- REAL tests, etc. to get a C, you only need to get a 36%, and to get a perfectly respectable B, you only need to get 46%. That's REALLY not setting the bar very high... i am pretty sure that i can just read each chapter's review section, do the practice tests online a couple times a piece and maybe go over the in-class powerpoints that the teacher made available online and still get an A for the semester... at LEAST a B, even if i bite it HARD all semester long. I don't like to approach school this way, but with a language class from hell and BIO, it seems like maybe it would be smart to be conniving instead of studious in this instance- especially since this is my last math class for my degree, and it's kind of silly that i have to take it anyway. nurses don't USE statistics, practically speaking, and if they TECHNICALLY do use them, it's so elementary a 5th grader could do it. What kind of scares me and disturbs me is the fact that the way this class is set up, i could get a good grade without ever LEARNING the course material. i'll get a 4.0 for testing... well, at a mid-range F level or higher. I have to admit, i think that's kind of shameful- for myself for taking advantage of a situation like that, and for the school for creating the opportunity for unearned success.

If any of the kids in that class do the same thing, and they're trying for a mid-range to serious science or math oriented degree, they might actually be screwed when they get to whatever comes after statistics. or maybe not... i think stats is kind of its own thing? anyway.

Hey Rob!

swiped from HOUSE OF VADER.

Thanks For The Fair Warning, PTB!

Aquarius:
Monday, September 21, 2009 - You might get carried away with your feelings now and announce them at work before you consider the consequences of such an emotional disclosure. It's not that there is anything inherently wrong with sharing your inner process; it's just that you cannot take back what you say once it's out there. Today is one of those days when saying fewer words is surely better than talking too much.

The Men Who Stare At Goats

I think that this might be the best film title ever... it totally sounds like an American film's translated title in, like, Uzbekistan or something after it's been translated back into english. EXTRA POINTS for effective use of "More Than A Feeling."

Dentist Redux

I have to go back to the dentist today and get another tooth sanded down and fitted for a temporary cap...

while i am THRILLED to be ABLE to go to the dentist financially, i am still kind of dreading this. it takes a long time, and there's this evil hygienist there that i think hurts me on purpose and has a really shitty professional manner. i complained about her last time to the office manager, and i'm kind of nervous that i'll have to interact with her again. sadness...

actually, i have to get ready- appointment's in half an hour.

Question:

That is a pretty form-fitting outfit- i mean, if she'd gotten a lizard print tattooed all over and just came to the VMAs in heels and that giant ring, it would have been almost the same.

Anyway, far be it from me to be crass, but i'm having a hell of a time finding any pictures of her that show her from the front, and i was wondering about why that might be. god knows i haven't watched the show, but does anybody know if the outfit is contoured to her womanly parts or what? i mean, it does go up her ass crack and under her tits, it stands to reason that the vacuum seal would emphasize her lady-junk as well. i'm just curious is all.

It's Not Exactly Weapons-Grade Plutonium, Now, Is It?

My spanish class has emerged as a likely winner of the much sought after "Which of my classes will cannibalize the majority of my time this semester?" Award. As anyone who has ever taken a language class will surely tell you, you'd better buy yourself some motherfucking 3x5 cards and escribir su vocabulario pronto or whatever. and i tried to do just that on Amazon this morning, and it CUT ME OFF AFTER 3 100 PACKS of the cards pictured above!

WHY?!? they're 3x5 cards, amazon! I'm not trying to by short lengths of pipe and bucketloads of nails with my lawn fertalizer, now, am i?

anyway- i apologize to anyone who wasn't smart enough to avoid this post based on the somewhat less-than-compelling picture of lined 3x5 cards... if your heart wasn't lulled into non-functionality by my office-supply-oriented prose.

People Named Seth Are On Average 84% More Awesome Than Non-Seths

It used to be 3 percentage points higher, but i dragged that shit DOWN. All the other seths always pick me last for dodge ball.

Apparently It's Gender-Means-Nothing Day

So i was listening to the radio just now while i was on my way outside to get the laundry out of the dryer and the DJ was chuckling to herself in that lame smug adult contemporary radio station way (i keep the kitchen radio tuned to a really boring adult contemporary station because i like the background noise for when i'm cooking and doing dishes and shit, and that way i'm never tempted not to use the oven fan because i NEED to hear a song and the music isn't challenging at all, so i can sing along and not try to LISTEN to the words or anything... SHUT UP, DON'T JUDGE ME!) and she's all like:

"oh, ha ha ha, this is funny, moms. You're going to get a laugh out of this one! Well, maybe not the moms, but I laughed, and it'll make the dads laugh, too... So today's Mind Bender question for a Family Four Pass to something boring and lame that Seth Won't Be Able to Remember Four Minutes From Now When He is Mocking Me on his Blog is: Fifty Percent of Men who are new fathers admit to doing this."

i myself instantly thought "Develop Porn Addiction and/or Begin Illicit Affair," but i'm cynical like that.

Then John Mayer started douching out of the speakers, and i went outside to get the laundry and put a new load into the washer. When i came back in, she was taking her first caller:

"Fifty Percent of new dads admit to doing THIS. Let's take a call! Hi! You're on the Air! Fifty Percent of new dads admit to doing This..."

Male Voice:

"I'm going to say that fifty percent of new dads attempt to BREASTFEED their kids at some point."

*HORRIBLE SILENCE*

Male Voice:

"Ahhh... i guess that i'm in that, uh, fifty percent, a ha ha..."

Clearly SHOCKED AND APPALLED easy listening DJ lady:

"Ahhh... NO, that's not what we're looking for. THANKS FOR CALLING."

apparently adult contemporary listeners are BORDERLINE RETARDED, because the next answers were pretty stupid and lame. They were, as follows:

female voice:

"Put the diaper on backward?"

and then, IMMEDIATELY AFTER that was rejected, the next lady to call was like:

"Put the socks on backward?"

and finally, on the fourth caller, the old sounding lady that called in was like:

"They pretend to sleep through the baby crying at night. And, you know, that's OK, but they're not fooling anyone."

ding ding ding!

i should have stopped this story with the DJ hanging up on the 'INCREDIBLE MAN-TEAT,' huh? this was a bit of an anti-climax. How about a disturbing picture to compensate you for your time?

there you are! Go in Peace.

Semen... Yeah.

Report: Semenya has male, female sex organs

From the Associated Press:

Updated: September 10, 2009, 8:57 PM EDT

SYDNEY (AP) - The IAAF declined to confirm a Sydney Morning Herald report that world 800-meter champion Caster Semenya has male and female sex organs.

IAAF spokesman Nick Davies says the group has received the results of Semenya's gender tests, but he would not discuss the findings.

"I simply haven't seen the results," Davies wrote in an e-mail to The Associated Press. "We have received the results from Germany, but they now need to be examined by a group of experts and we will not be in a position to speak to the athlete about them for at least a few weeks.

"After that, depending on the results, we will meet privately with the athlete to discuss further action."

The Australian newspaper reported in its Friday edition that medical reports on the 18-year-old Semenya indicate she has no ovaries, but rather has internal male testes, which are producing large amounts of testosterone.

Davies said the report should be treated with caution.

After dominating her race at the world championships in Berlin last month, Semenya was given blood and chromosome tests, as well as a gynecological examination.

The IAAF has said Semenya probably would keep her medal because the case was not related to a doping matter.

"Our legal advice is that, if she proves to have an advantage because of the male hormones, then it will be extremely difficult to strip the medal off her, since she has not cheated," Davies wrote to the AP. "She was naturally made that way, and she was entered in Berlin by her team and accepted by the IAAF. But let's wait and see once we have the final decision."

The South African Press Association reported Athletics South Africa president Leonard Chuene had not been informed of any reports by the IAAF.

"These are insulting words that the media are using, but we are in the dark," SAPA quoted Chuene as telling The Star newspaper. "We just don't know what effect this information will have on her deep down. This process is not correct."
.........................................................................

yeah, i think it's fucked up that this all has to come out publicly like that- she's going to be on the receiving end of some pretty unpleasant jokes, and who knows how she's going to deal psychologically and how it's going to affect this lady's personal life. i mean, clearly she's pretty butch and all, very male features, etc, but to publicly release that information after already publicly launching the investigation into her GENDER is pretty messed up. she didn't cheat. i wonder if they'll let her compete in the future? i mean, they'll have to give her this one, but how messed up would it be if she's a champion, but because of something she was born with she wasn't allowed to go on in her career after getting publicly labeled a hermaphrodite? i mean, i don't see anything wrong with being hermaphroditic, either via nature or surgery, but this could ruin her life and livelihood.

UPDATE: Of the controversy, Semenya told a South African newspaper, "I see it all as a joke, it doesn't upset me. God made me the way I am and I accept myself."

THAT'S RIGHT! i mean, i don't believe in God per se, but yeah. she was born like that, and fuck feeling like you're wrong over how you were born because other people can't deal.

Threadless $9 Sale!

This last one is for a friend...

These are LATE going up, but it's not my fault- blogger's been weird for me the last couple of days- a minute ago it said that i wasn't following ANY blogs (not true!) and then last night it was erroring everytime i tried to upload my new T-SHIRTS that i got from the 09/09/09 SALE over at Threadless! i TRIED to spread the love, but blogger was like "No!" and i tried three times, but to no avail until TONIGHT, and the sale may be over as i post this, but regardless, these are my new shirts! they are cool. threadless has neat stuff. the tree one has glow in the dark ink on it! i love shirts that glow. i wish they had grown up he-man briefs and stuff like that- i remember being so happy in my superhero briefs when i was a kid.

if you want to buy something through threadless, and you use my link, i get a 1.50 credit... if you're going there anyway, you know?

http://threadless.com/?from=youreviltwin81

PIMP TOOTH!

i finally got one of my caps, and it's GOLD, BITCHES!

and in the spirit of my new GOLD PIMP TOOTH, here's an offensive/funny pimp-o-centric song that my friend zane stuck on my computer. bon apetit!

Interior Design of the Damned

"They may say Jesus died for your sins, but forty squirrels just died for your comforter. Continuing the morbid motif, it was somehow necessary that you not only trod on your kills, but that you were swaddled in their scraped flesh 24/7. This is THE Bachelor Pad, boys. If you weren't falling-down drunk from too many bottles of Mateus Rosé, that mirrored backboard was a handy place to do lots of cheap blow. Perhaps you got it at Studio 54, from Liza and Halston."

My best friend rob is friends with the guy who writes this site... there was a part of it called "Interior Design of the Damned" and it is HILARIOUS. There's only 6 pages of content for that particular section (link HERE) but there's way more stuff on the site- personally, i find the site to be a bit weird/confusing to navigate (Full Disclosure: i'm alot better than i WAS, but i'm still not the brightest bulb re computery stuff, so it's entirely possible that it's just me), but if you poke around you'll find all sorts of really funny shit in the same vein and voice (there's a large section on antlers used for aesthetic purposes ranging from furniture to salt shakers to high fashion, for example) that fairly begs to be explored and enjoyed.

If you'd like to start perusing from the home page, it's called xmere.com.

Global Politics in Thirty Seconds

from the LATE, GREAT Wondershowzen:

Sigh Aloe Toe May Liter Frond

SOOO, i know it's a little bit MUCH maybe, but hoarding runs in my family and this is my way of manifesting it. I download HUGE amounts of media of all shapes and sizes- movies, music, tv shows, comic books, audiobooks (for car rides), books (especially now that i have my Kindle- LOVE IT by the way), software etc etc etc, and when i got my current desktop last year, (600G) i thought that i would NEVER need more space, but here i am less than a year later, and i've been deleting stuff and deleting stuff, but í am at about 250G of stuff on my computer, AND i deleted all of my porn a couple months ago... i don't want to shame myself beyond what is obviously unavoidable, but it was a sizeable collection (i think i'm sexually autistic or something).

OK, so DISCLAIMER OVER- i FUCKING LOVE THIS HARD DRIVE!! If you have space needs for your computer, GET THIS ONE. it's nice looking, comes with a stand, runs super cool, fast data transfer, on/off switch (NOT as common as you might think) and it's just a GREAT value if you buy it on AMAZON., where it is like, 42 or 43% off right now- priced at $99 dollars, down from $170.

Yo Gabba Gabba is Fucking RAD

and Leslie Hall is terrifying, but still RAD...


AND in my small asian child form, I too was on Yo Gabba Gabba!

I hate that Julia bitch.

Pizza!

I love pizza- pizza is the cheesy, starchy monkey on my back... and yesterday, i made it from scratch- dough, marinara, the whole nine yards- and it came out GREAT. I got the dough recipe from the very good Live For Pizza.com, although i did not use a pizza stone- i rolled the crust pretty thin, and i did oil and dust the bottoms of my pizzas with cormeal, and it took about 10-12 minutes per pizza (at 450 degrees). I would recommend watching your pizza after about 8 minutes. crust should be getting browned, cheese should be bubbly and have a little browning going on as well. when you take it out of the oven, just pick up one of the edges of the pizza, and see if it has too much give or not- if it feels too bendy, it's not done.

**[I DO like that website, but i kind of DON'T like the kind of snobby, elitist vibe, like it's a wine website or something- anyway, as they would say in a 12 step, take the best and leave the rest when you go there. if you read through the website, you kind of wonder if the whole website is some sort of pizza stone manufacturer's PONZI SCHEME or something- i found it so irritating that at this point, i'm kind of like "FUCK YOU! I will NEVER buy a pizza stone, FUCKERS! Do you HEAR ME?!?!?NEVER!!!"]**

you know, i ate half of one pizza, and i felt good, not gross and bloated. i think i'm going to try to make my own pizza from now on- it was a decadent treat without being shame-oriented, and i'm all for that. PLUS, i spent 6 dollars on ingredients (cheese, pepperoni, and 1/5 of a pound of razor thin slices of genoa salami (it has so much flavor, and you don't have to use hardly any of it) and the rest of the stuff i had at home. i used spinach, sweet/hot red yellow and orange peppers, chipotle/jalapeno chicken sausage, sliced tomatos, and um... i feel like there's more, but i'm blanking. oh, i had some marinara in the freezer from when i made that eggplant parm last month when my aunt came down for the weekend- and it didn't take very much of anything, either- 1/2 a cup of sauce, maybe, 1 10 oz bag of shredded cheese, maybe 15 pepperonis, and that was for both pizzas, so yeah. i could make another two pizzas with the leftover ingredients i bought, so it KIND OF only cost me about 3 bucks... AWESOME! i cooked 3 of those sausages, but ended up only using half of one of them- germone got sent to work with sausage sandwiches with red onion and peppers tonight as a result, and he's probably having the same thing for lunch tomorrow night, too.

Do You Ever Have Those Days That Just Beat You Down?

Yeah, me too.

I was up last night until 7 am this morning studying BIO, then i went to bed, couldn't fall asleep until Germonicorn got home and got into bed with me, about 8:30, and that sonofabitch fell asleep before me, as if to mock me and my exhaustion.

Alarm goes off at 12:50, i get up, get ready, we leave at 1:55pm, get to the west campus about 2:15, and i'm relieved, because i was late on the first day and i'm NEVER LATE, so i feel like it's important that germone get used to getting me there early. he's late for shit all the time, work, school, plans, whatever. we miss the previews when we go to movies, it's awful. anyway, i get there, early like i like, and it's HOT AS FUCKING BALLS out, i'm carrying this multi-ton bookbag, i climb all these damn stairs to get to the science classroom, and i get to the door, and it's locked. the only entrance to the classroom is locked, and it's a million degrees, and class isn't for half an hour. '

2:45, teacher opens the door. the entire class is standing outside, but i think i'm the sweatiest. anyway, i'll talk a bit about my science teacher in the future, but class went well otherwise. i got to work with this hot guy who had a green lantern tattoo on his elbow which was actually kind of cool, and we finished our lab first. he was nice, too.

i was still anxious about my almost FOUR HOUR spanish class that i'd never been to before... i was tired and wilted from the heat, but i was hanging in.

The spanish class moved REALLY FAST, and apparently we were supposed to get a workbook from the bookstore that they had neglected to stock (they told me all i needed was the text- not true) or the teacher had neglected to order- who knows, but she had xeroxed handouts in lieu of the bookstore getting their shipment in. i'm pretty annoyed by the fact that HALF THE CLASS SPEAKS SPANISH and they're just PRETENDING that they "can speak it and understand it, but i can't read it" but it's bullshit, they just want language credit for free, those fuckers, so i'm in a class full of cheaters that i'll never be able to catch up with, but anyway. there's only five chapters for the whole semester, it could be SO MUCH WORSE.

so... SO much worse...

it wasn't THAT bad, until i saw this really overweight woman in my spanish class (like, MASSIVE tits, no bra, older, rough face, hair in a scrunchy from 1987, big bi-sected ass/stomach in the front that hung between her legs) who was wearing spaghetti strap top that BARELY covered what i assume were dinner plate sized nipples and these SHORT FUCKING SHORTS that were digging into her legs. they were seriously short, and under the strain of one of her legs moving too far away from the other, it pulled the non-moving leg's side of the shorts to the left, to the left, and i got flashed by rancid morbidly obese carnie vagina lip. and she was SOOOOOOO LOUD! like, the teacher was like, "repeato, clasé!" and she'd say whatever spanish phrases, and we were supposed to repeat as a group afterward, but THIS BITCH has to PROVE that she DOESN'T NEED THIS CLASS or that she knows more than everybody else (OK, full disclosure, i typically find a way to demonstrate that i know more than everybody else by the end of the semester as well, BUT I DON'T TRY TO DO IT IN ONE DAY! that's just TACKY!) and the way she chooses to prove this, is to READ THE WORDS ON THE PAGE that the teacher is DEMONSTRATING FOR US ANYWAY and she'd say whatever in spanish before the rest of the class chimed in, OVERPRONOUNCING EVERY SYLLABLE to the point where it was like she was almost making fun of spanish speaking people?

i don't think it flew. our teacher is columbian.

anyways, that's the first time i've seen vagina in person in about um... ten years? not exactly making me question my lifechoices, i have to say.