Antichrist Coming Soon

My all-time favorite director, Lars von Trier, has a new film coming out. It's called Antichrist and it looks awesome (to me). The lead actress, Charlotte Gainsborg, just won Best Actress at Cannes despite the fact that much of the audience for the film walked out during the screening- extremely graphic depictions of non-specified 'abuse' being the only reason publicly cited. Um, Lars von Trier could film two hours of puppies being hacked into pieces and i'd probably watch it anyway. He's awesome. He's also notoriously difficult, ill-tempered and unstable. What is not to love, i ask you?

you can check out the site here
Below is the trailer for a great documentary about Lars von Trier and Jorgen Leth called The 5 Obstructions, in which von Trier challenges his cinematic idol, Leth, to a five-tiered test revolving around Leth's most famous work, the experimental short film The Perfect Human. You really get a sense of von Trier's misanthropy, which is in full force throughout. I also recommend watching any and all interviews with him- he never fails to be an engaging subject.

Good News for Ugly Poor People

From: Rodale.com via MSN.com

Sexy, Rich People: You Should Feel Bad for Them
Study: Earning more money seemed to make recent graduates anxious and depressed, while those who had strong relationships were happiest.

By Leah Zerbe

Close your eyes and imagine that in the course of your life, you'll go on to make and save lots of money, become famous, and turn smokin' hot. Will it make you happy? Most people probably think so, but new research suggests otherwise. A study to be published this June in the Journal of Research in Personality found that recent college graduates who reported making the most money, obtaining more public recognition, and liking the way they looked were also more anxious, and showed more depressive symptoms, than other postgraduates in the study. "Not only were they not feeling better than they were at the start of the study, they were actually feeling worse," says Edward Deci, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of Rochester in New York.

The details: Researchers at the University of Rochester in New York studied 147 alumni during their second year after graduating from college. They used psychological surveys to learn about the young adults' feelings of satisfaction with life, self-esteem, anxiety, physical signs of stress, and their experience of positive and negative emotions. One year after graduation, and again 12 months later, researchers questioned the participants on values, asking them to rate how much they valued deep, enduring relationships and helping others improve their lives, versus being a wealthy person and achieving the look they've been after. The ones who reported making the most money, gaining recognition, and enjoying their images showed the most signs of anxiety and depression. The research was supported in part by a grant from the National Institute of Mental Health.

What it means: Why don't seemingly desirable goals like wealth and beauty pay off as expected? Perhaps because they distract people from more rewarding pursuits. "When you get too focused on the American dream — goals of being rich, famous, and beautiful — you start ignoring spending time in meaningful relationships, ignoring paying attention to yourself and growing as a human being, ignoring ways in which you could volunteer and give back to the community," explains Deci. Not that it's bad to be ambitious or to work hard to succeed. But this study implies that it's unrealistic to expect that kind of success to make you happy.

Here are some ways to find your own path to happiness:

Keep a perspective on beauty. Don't get too hung up on your appearance, because after all, beauty is pretty superficial, Deci says. And it may not be true that attractive people are more likely to get ahead. A study to be published this month in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that people with the highest intelligence scores earn more money during their lifetime, and report less financial strain, than people with high beauty scores.

Favor meaning over materialism. Trying to keep up with your friends or that cousin who seems to have everything going his way is a setup for disaster. "The important thing is being who you truly are. That you really accept yourself for who you are, and live your life accordingly in a full and meaningful way," says Deci. In his study, researchers found that those who had strong relationships (which requires accepting people for who they are, listening, and being there when they need you — not just when it's convenient) and volunteered in their community were happiest.

Um... Yay?!?

i'm in... tucson. to live. indefinately. w00t.

o_O

ok, tucson is kind of um... shitty... but the HOUSE germone got us is pretty damn nice. i like the house a lot. it feels like it should have a pool, but it doesn't. several times in the last few days, i've been like "i should take a swim" but then i remember that the pool here is IMPLIED and not actually existant.

i walked to the 24 hour wal-mart grocery store that is half a mile down from the house, and i have to say- NOT a sexy walk. i DID get cruised by a semi-guapo latino gentleman with a proud coorporate mullet when i was trying to pick out my aluminum foil brand of choice, though, so it wasn't a complete wash. i know it's sick, but there's something about a mexican dude with a RAT-TAIL that just kind of almost does it for me. this guy didn't have one- i just felt compelled to share that. you're welcome. roll that around in your mouth.

ahh, tucson.

So Long, Phoenix.

You haven't been half bad this time around, but i suspect that this has much more to do with me than it ever has with you.

Not Every Man Can Have A Fine Lady Like Delta Burke...

or they couldn't...

UNTIL NOW!!!

BOOM!

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*Sigh*

I HATE MOVING.

i was telling my aunt just this morning how i missed the beautiful simplicity of moving house when i was a drug addict... she laughed uncomfortably, but i persisted, pointing out that even the most horrible circumstances have their selling points. Jamming a bunch of shit into a black garbage bag and taking the bus across town is WAY BETTER than moving "the grown-up way." not just the difference in packing, but in all the shit you have to do... change your addresses with everybody, forward your mail, change your magazine subscriptions, etc. it's just a fucking trail of tears.

*Did any of you notice the GIANT box that used to hold adult diapers- NIGHTENGALE- EXTRA! no, not mine... they're from the care facility i worked at. still, it's a little embarrassing moving all your shit- no pun intended- in geriatric diaper boxes. people, were they to actually notice, which they really don't, might think I'M incontinent! isn't that hilARIOUS? oh, the embarrassing shenanigans i would have to endure!

This Seems Unlikely

Your result for What is your criminal persona, and what did you do?...

The international spy

56% Passive, 43% Agressive, 57% Technicial, 47% Slyness, 43% Pride, 39% Greed, 52% Fear, 61% Urban, 37% Rural and 63% Social!

Your calm and cool just like 007... too bad your not as awesome.. you got caught, and now your country will not even recognise you as a citizen... you live the rest of your life being painfully beaten... I knew i shouldnt have tossed that poisen pill..

Take What is your criminal persona, and what did you do? at HelloQuizzy

what part of this is unclear?

i know i have a boyfriend and everything, but i still like to frequent okcupid just to see what kind of flotsam i'm attracting... you know, charting trends, analyzing data, it's purely scientific.

MY profile reads (at one point) when i am administering the standard disclaimer about being post-pubescent:

"i wouldn't describe myself as a yeti or anything (or liken myself to animals in general, ie bear, pup, cub, etc... so strange... what's that even about?)."

because the BEAR COMMUNITY IS FUCKING CREEPY TO ME. i'm not trying to be mean, but it just seems like a really ridiculous set of values to unite a group- an arbitrary genetic trait like a tendency toward being fat and/or hairy? that is fucking dumb. this is the UNITED STATES, throw a goddamn phonebook, and you'll hit at least ten fat hairy men, with at least one of them statistically likely to be gay.

anyway, i think that my statement about not self-identifying in bear community lingo (because it's RETARDED) is pretty clear. so when i looked at the profile of this australian dude (username Teddybeard- red flag number one) that messaged me i was at a bit of a loss. the first sentence in his profile is as follows:

"I am a young guy heavily involved in the Bear and Cub scene, my vocation is in Radio Broadcasting and I'm currently at university."

0_0

i hope this doesn't come off as hateful or anything, i just don't GET it. John Waters has some insight on this.


ON SECOND THOUGHT - UPDATE (5/23/09):

You know what, though? I'm pretty much sexually retarded, so i concede the possibility that my discomfort is my own problem. Also, i think it's pretty cool when people are comfortable in their own skin. I myself am NOT that comfortable in my own skin, and i never have been, so who knows? maybe i'm JEALOUS?! MAYBE I HAVE BEAR ENVY?!

Dave Breaks It Down

See, this is why i love House of Vader.

From House of Vader (.blogspot.com):

HATERS:
There is a paid advertisement on youtube, not a clip, which is by the hate group The National Organization for Marriage. Its pretty fucked up being youtube is accepting money for this.
Hopefully their "market" is as financial insufficient as their education. Sorry to be a TOTAL RASCIST but unfortunately I HAVE TO BE because this is led by a RELIGIOUS LATIN GROUP so Im gonna READ THEM. It SHOCKS ME when a MINORITY GROUP goes after another MINORITY GROUP as if it helps them ASSIMILATE and now their friends with RICH WHITE PEOPLE ummmm SORRY but NO you IS BROWN you aint never gonna be white and those rich honkeys who you think youre gonna be friends with have worse things to call you then BROWN. Believe me, I come from there and you are NOT EVER going to be considered equals with these people no matter how much you hate on others. Its soooo ridiculous how some latin groups think if they vote "white" it makes them LESS LIKE A BLACK PERSON and MORE WHITE, um WRONG?! They need to know hate is hate is hate and if you think youre gonna move up the food chain by hating on a GAY you HAVE ANOTHER THING COMIN because BELIEVE ME when I say ANY rich old HONKEY would rather have a GAY move next store then a person of color. Sorry but its true, its awful but its true. Why? because at least if a gay moves next store they might get hate on but at least the property values dont go down, in fact they most likely go up, and all white people care about is THEIR MONEY. Minority communities voting republican are DEEPLY confused if they think by hating on another group its going to win them any special favors. The only thing their going to get from it is a loss of equal rights and being SECRETLY MADE FUN OF by the honkeys who they voted for. I know this because Im fron upstate New York which is MEGA WHITE and MEGA HATEFUL and I know the secret thoughts of serious honkeys and belive me they are NOT INTO your BROWN ASS in any way shape or form. The latins in Florida pull this stunt with voting every time and its only gonna bite them in the ass. Same as the African Americans in California who voted for prop 8.
The ad was this latino couple with a BABY ( barf), that im gonna have to pay for with my tax dollars, and then you click on it and its some blatino couple WITH A BABY (mega barf), then you go deeper and its a couple of OLD CRACKERS (triple barf), who I'm also gonna have to pay for, saying GAYS ARE LESS THEN and shouldnt have equal rights basically. SORRY BITCH at least more then HALF MY PEOPLE GOT A JOB... OK?!?!?!? Go read a book, and the bible doesnt count!! I so hate these PIOUS LATINO ADULT CHILDREN and OLD UNEDUCATED CRACKER FUCKTARDS thinking they have the right to say who can and cant have equal rights. As if, in my experience, MOST OF LATINOS ARENT INTO DUDE ON DUDE SEX, all you need to do is WIGGLE YOUR ASS in front of a str8 latin dude and hes ready to STICK IT IN, so STOP TRYING! YOU ALL GAYZ and we both know it?!?!
I wrote them a fake religious hate letter cause I figured theyd care less if it came from a gay so I just LIED and pretended I actually care about that bullshit and told them their going to hell for hating on GODS CHILDREN. I also wanna write a letter to Youtube shaming them for accepting their ad but to be honest im going to the gym now and will deal with it later. I have priorities!

update. there is no contact email for youtube so I wrote their advertising contact as only an email offering money will be looked at and Im following the instructions on youtube itself about how to deal with a hate group and contacting the anti-defamation league and I wrote a letter to HRC. Im really grossed out that youtube would accept advertising from a HATE GROUP like the National association for marriage. Gross on them!!! Here are the tips posted on youtube, please lets others know about this message if you think its important. If not just enjoy the porn:
Tips for confronting hate speech on YouTube from the Anti-Defamation League.

Flag: Flag the offensive video for review by the YouTube team. Make sure to include why you thought the video was hateful.

Think: Perspective is crucial. Think before you respond, and try to respond in a thoughtful, careful manner.

Speak: Post videos or comments that oppose the offensive point of view. Let the YouTube community see a competing perspective.

Applaud: Don't forget to post positive comments on videos that share positive messages.

Talk: Talk to your friends, teachers, or family about what you've seen.

Learn: Many groups publish information about combating particular kinds of prejudice, such as the Anti-Defamation League's resources on anti-Semitism.

E-mail: Notify groups like the Anti-Defamation League, which keep track of trends in hate speech.

Act: Take active steps to combat prejudice online and offline.

***END TRANSMISSION***

My New Life Goal

http://www.amazon.com/gp/mpd/permalink/m3TW2JEKYJ8ODC
i am NOT going to fucking PAY for the e-books, though. that's some bullshit- if i'm going to spend ten bucks on a book, i'm going to spend it on a physical copy with pages. i'll just gank e-books off of wherever. the portability is awesome, and if they can get the textbook thing to catch on, that would be the shit. carrying 30+lbs of books around when you take the bus in 100 degree weather sucks goat balls. how great for travel, yeah? i always pack 5 books into my carry-on... heavy as hell, but you never know what you're going to feel like reading. this would be better.

mmm... kindle-y goodness.

(it's so decadent i kind of feel bad for wanting it, but i can't help it. it's essentially books and newspapers, so it's not THAT shameful, right? i KNOW i spend 500 bucks a year on books, no sweat)

are you FREAKING OUT?!?

i am starting to freak out about the move to tucson. There are a bunch of reasons. It's a new place where i know almost nobody, it's a new school that i have no idea how to maneuver with (unlike CGCC, which i kind of feel like i understand how it works and the way things go there), it's a new city that i don't know my way around at all (and i'll have to figure out the transit system down there, which is always a drag), it's the first time that i've lived with a boyfriend in a planned, pre-meditated manner where i didn't just show up on a doorstep all cracked out and like "can i live with you?" and um... yeah. ack, this is scary shit! i told germone about my anxiety and he said that if i can survive foster care then i must be adaptable enough to live in tucson with him. then i reminded him that i ran away from foster care.

Forget About Everything I Just Said-

BECAUSE BABY JESUS HAS JUST SENT ME A CAREPACKAGE OF NOT-BORED-ANYMORENESS!

BEHOLD!!!


i don't want to oversell it, but i think i can safely call this the BEST THING EVER.

here's his homepage on youtube. LOTS to see. enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichu

ganked from the awesome HouseofVader.com, which actually, when you think about it, has a similar core message of unconditional self-acceptance? Dave must be so pleased!

CREEPSVILLE: Summer Break Blues Edition!

I am TRYING to chillax and adjust to vacation mode, but i am having a hard time. I kind of don't know what to do without homework or studying or school happening. Yesterday I read about 200 pages of a book, made a london broil (it came out ok, but i had to pull it apart and sauce it all up with the... um... sauce. i think i put in too much garlic, and i wish i had only used a little so i had a more clear idea of how the soups + onion mix combo tastes but oh well. i think i'd make it again with an on sale london broil), cleaned the litterboxes for all 5 cats that live here, called my grandpa, went to the grocery store to buy stuff for the broil and paper plates for the catfood, watched the season finale of BONES, blogged, sent out emails to my English teacher from Fall and my FREEDOM!!! AND!!! TERROR!!!! CULTURES!!!IN!!CONFLICT!!! teacher from this last semester thanking them for everything this year (which i always feel is creepy, but i think it's important to say that stuff anyway. isn't it stupid how saying nice stuff to somebody is so awkward and hard?) and uh... i think that's all?

ANYWAY, i feel like i'm going a little nuts already, but it's probably important to decompress and just take a bit of a break. i have found that if life seems to be forcing relaxation on you (VERY UNCOMMON, btw) then you should take it, because that usually means that you're going to be bodyslammed with nonstop activity for a prolonged period of time, which i can easily imagine being the case immediately following the big move- which is only 9 days away. i've been wanting to drink, too- being alone with nothing to do and being stir crazy is a time tested formula for making guys want to be drunkish. it makes time killing really easy, and even bad tv is kind of good...

i do have a bunch of downloaded tv from the schoolyear that i haven't gotten to, but i almost feel too antsy to watch tv... when i watch tons of tv i always want to eat a ton of food. maybe í'll just read and take tv breaks between chapters. i had hoped to read a bunch of stuff this summer, and i have a stack of books here that are on the list, so. that's another good thing about my FREEDOM!!! etc class- it got me back in the habit of reading.

this was probably a boring post, but please realize that it's essentially occupational therapy and i'm all alone with 5 cats in this damn house, so CUT ME A FUCKING BREAK!

Do You Guys Think This Will Be Good?

"The steak is cooked with condensed tomato soup mixed with cream of mushroom soup. Dry onion soup mix is sprinkled over the top. Easy by any standard."
INGREDIENTS (Nutrition)
2 pounds flank steak
1 (10.75 ounce) can condensed cream of mushroom soup
1 (10.75 ounce) can condensed tomato soup
1 (1 ounce) package dry onion soup mix

DIRECTIONS
Place meat in the bottom of the slow cooker; if necessary, slice meat to make it fit!
In a medium bowl, mix together mushroom and tomato soup. Pour mixture over beef. Sprinkle dry onion soup mix over top.
Cover, and cook on Low for 8 to 10 hours.

see, this sounds like it's either going to be really good in that ghetto midwestern food kind of way (a methodology pretty much DEFINED by condensed mushroom and/or tomato soup from a can and/or Kraft products and/or smashed potato chips as garnish or topping) or really disgusting in that ghetto midwestern food kind of way, but i was drawn in my the super long cook time which should equal serious tenderness, and also by the very few ingredients required. i already had the soup mix in the cupboard and had defrosted the broil without really knowing what i was going to do with it. i couldn't TOTALLY leave the recipe alone, though- i put a can of button mushrooms on the bottom of the crock pot, put a layer of thinly sliced white onion over that, put about 5 large, minced cloves of garlic over that, and splashed about 1/4 cup of worchestershire sauce over that before laying down the broil, tomato/mushroom soup mix (i stirred in some olive oil, maybe 1/8 of a cup) and the onion soup stuff. i put quite a bit of fresh ground black pepper on top of that... maybe too much, but we'll see. i'm hoping it'll be real wet and tender in a barbeque-ish kind of way... i bought these great little rolls, and would like to have little london broil sandwiches to tide me over until cyd gets back and buys groceries again. i'm really unsure, though- this one could definately go either way. i've never used a crock pot before, either, so anything could happen. what a whirlwind!


PS, my math final was EVIL, and i have no idea how i did. i'm sure i passed the final and everything, so i know i got an A in the course, but if i got a C or a D on the final, i wouldn't be shocked... which is not to say i wouldn't be upset, lol. he gave me a 35 PAGE, 70 QUESTION practice final THE DAY BEFORE THE EXAM, and it had about a 10% bearing on the ACTUAL exam. i kind of admire him for blowing the lazy fuckers in his class out of the water, though. when i told him how rotten the test was, he laughed. he's a badass motherfucker. i'm gonna miss old swifty. he wasn't worried about me, though- he gave everybody the opportunity to seriously insulate themselves against the final (i had a 99.16, and could afford to get as low as a 48% on the final and still get an A in the class, for example) but people took advantage, got super lazy, "wanted a stimulus that they haven't earned" as swifty put it. he's the man, though. seriously- i've never understood math before in my damn life. he's a great teacher.

I'm going to do a seperate post about the awards ceremony in the very near future. 'twas a good, wierd time.

Taking the AxeBunny Challenge

How Can You Miss Me If I Don't Go Away?

I'm not sure if i'll be blogging very much this week with this being the last week of classes before finals next week. i've been off since thursday, but this damn paper is so brutal that it's monday morning, and i'm basically all cracked out on coffee and conrad and imperialism and the us war machine, m-a-a-a-a-a-n... and i don't even have a draft done, only an outline of maybe half of my paper. i do have a thesis, though, so the hardest part is done... but i have my complete first draft due on wednesday, which is when i'm taking the first part of my math final (the no calculator, no notes, no book part) and then over the weekend i have to shuttle to prescott for my friend dale's birthday, read the rest of motorcycle diaries for my eng/enh final, finish revising my draft for my final paper and prepare for the second part of my math final next week... just one question:

Of course, i may end up blogging more than usual- a hysterical and inappropriate reaction to stress. Hopefully that doesn't happen... as many of us already know, if i don't get sleep, i just get weirder and weirder.

CREEPSVILLE: Special Swine Flu Edition!

It's funny, but despite the fact that this has happened before, i'd never heard of Swine Flu until a couple of weeks ago. You'd think that we would have heard about such a horrible epidemic in history class or something.

But Dotty had a Heart Condition, and she DIED!

I think "Dotty Died" would be a great name for a band. Or maybe 'Dotty DIED!!!'

The Ballad of Vince Offer

Mugshot of Vince Shlomi aka Vince Offer, aka THE SHAMWOW GUY

Vince Shlomi aka Vince Offer, aka ZORAK


And, for the first time, ladies and gentlemen: the SHAM-HO!


This is awesome. it has EVERYTHING.

before i begin, i would just like to point out that Vince used to be a Scientologist. Those people are fucking freaks. This is what HAPPENS when you worship this guy.

from the Smoking Gun.com:

MARCH 27--Meet Vince Shlomi. He's probably better known to you as the ShamWow Guy, the ubiquitous television pitchman who has been phenomenally successful peddling absorbent towels and food choppers. Shlomi, 44, was arrested last month on a felony battery charge following a violent confrontation with a prostitute in his South Beach hotel room. According to an arrest affidavit, Shlomi met Sasha Harris, 26, at a Miami Beach nightclub on February 7 and subsequently retired with her to his $750 room at the lavish Setai hotel. Shlomi told cops he paid Harris about $1000 in cash after she "propositioned him for straight sex." Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly "bit his tongue and would not let go." Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue. The affidavit, a copy of which you'll find here, notes that during the 4 AM fight Harris sustained facial fractures and lacerations all over her face (she is pictured here in mug shots snapped following busts in 2008 and 2005). After freeing his tongue, a bleeding Shlomi ran to the Setai lobby, where security summoned cops. Harris refused to cooperate with officers, who recovered $930 from her purse. "Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons," police reported. In a brief telephone interview, Harris declined to answer TSG questions about her run-in with Shlomi, though she did say she is considering a lawsuit against the pitchman. Asked if she worked as a hooker, Harris declined comment. As seen in the below mug shot, Shlomi was also injured during the fracas and, court records show, was treated at Mount Sinai Medical Center. While Shlomi and Harris were both arrested for felony aggravated battery, prosecutors this month declined to file formal charges against the combatants. Police records list Shlomi's occupation as "Marketing," but make no mention of his affiliation with the ShamWow or the Slap Chop, both of which sell for $19.95 (plus shipping and handling).

Below is Vince in the hospital after he beat the shit out of the tongue-biting SHAM-HO (WAAAAYYY OVERPAID, if you ask me). In the timeless words of Marci aka Cokie Smurf from Californication, you can either get smacked like a bitch, or you can smack a bitch. Word up, Marci!
Ok, and PS, NOTE THE LACK OF SOCKS, and note the whole tongue-biting whore scenario, and to me this indicates more than an alcohol problem. Look at his weird buglike face! This dude is a CRACKHEAD. that's on the real, yo! i have known my fair share of depraved crackheads, and this absolutely reminds me of most of them. Just saying.

Join me, kind people, as we look back on some of Vince's happier times, doing what Vince loved best: to slap and chop his troubles away; to promote German propaganda whilst saving your shag carpeting from unwanted mildew "that's gonna smell."
ShamWow!

You're going to slap your troubles away with the slap chop!

Allll Byyyyyyy Myseeeeeeeeeeeeelf....

that was supposed to be funny, but the funny is seriously negated by the cold harsh reality that that song is ASS. lol, i just remembered that in the film adaptation of the rules of attraction, that goth girl killed herself with this playing. um, if i were exposed to eric carmen for more than ten consecutive minutes, i'm sure that i would take a long walk down razorblade road myself.

ANYWAY, my SUPERFIERCE aunt cyd has gone on her first major vacation as of yesterday-she's going to miami, a european cruise, back to miami and then to london and then to back home to phoenix on a three week extravaganza of decadence. i'm all alone with her 17 damn cats, my upcoming final exams and essays, and some mixed blessing solitude. usually i enjoy the silence, but i've been just a tiny bit emotionally uneven lately and have had a really hard time not drinking, so i think that maybe being alone for three weeks is maybe not the best thing for me, BUT i can't think of ANYONE EVER who deserves a really epic vacation more than my aunt. she's not the kind of person who does stuff for herself- in fact, she has consistantly neglected herself for the benefit of either myself or my grandfather (and my late grandma) ever since i have been down in az, which is going on 12 years now. Happily, i've been pretty much self-reliant and low maintenance for coming up on five years now, but just as i started getting better, my grandparents started going downhill in a more pronounced way. I learned the term for fifty-sixtyish middle aged people caught in between the needs of adult children and their increasingly geriatric parents from my psych class last semester- they're called the "middle generation". i think cyd exemplifies that burden better than anybody i know, and she does it without complaint and without even letting slip the hardship she undertakes to provide the necessary support. for instance, i just found out a few WEEKS AGO that my aunt took out a second mortgage on her house so that she could pay for putting my grandmother in good sam for a year, and she never even told anybody. that was in 2005! the only reason i know now, is because she accidentally let it slip. that's 70,000 dollars that she kicked in, while my mom and stepfather (who is an nuclear engineer for GE who made 200,000$ a year twenty years ago and probably makes way more now) didn't contribute ANY money, but DID endlessly criticize my grandmother's care from 1500 miles away until she died, AND my aunt took time off of work and flew back to nebraska at least once a month for a year to get my grandpa through the adjustment of having his wife of over 50 years being in a home with hardcore dementia, and then when she died took off almost a full month to deal with the funeral... she's just the strongest, most amazing woman and she is absolutely my hero. if i could be like anyone, i would want to be like her.

on a lighter note, i got an email from her today (she just flew out of phoenix last night) that reads:

I'm not coming back.
Cyd

with this picture attached


Doesn't she look super happy? AWWWW! i'm so proud of her for doing this for herself... i miss her already, though!

i'm so urban today

here's the original

here's the remix- i think it's amazing.

Sao Paulo Has Awesome Graffiti

This is one of your longer, better youtube videos of Sao Paulo's graffiti. I want to go back after i get my nursing degree and just go around and take a ton of really good, high quality pictures of it. My ex-boyfriend told me that in Sao Paulo they commission graffiti artists rather than persecute them, which i think is a pretty excellent idea. the only places you see ugly tagging are places that don't have 'good' graffiti up, ie blank spots. It really captures the imagination, and the range of influences are incredible. it's probably my favorite paint oriented artistic medium.



that reminded me of this movie i saw at the Phoenix gay and lesbian film festival several years ago that was really great. usually i don't like gay films because they pander really bad, and the plot usually revolves around gayness instead of being incidental, but this movie was great and really well done and stuff. it's called the graffiti artist, and here's the trailer. on youtube, the whole movie is available in 8 parts, btw.